Someone quoted one of the Secret Diaries (Sauron):

Day Three Million Sixteen:

Wonder if Saruman becoming somewhat deaf? Told him I was hoping we could delineate boundaries of relationship, instead he defoliated Isengard.

And in response, DXMachina said:

Sounds like Sauron needs a digital palantir.

Heather Alayne: I got a phone call from my dad on my wedding night asking if we liked the hotel room he got for us. It had twin beds.

PMM: Maoist is one letter off of moist.

Heather Alayne: I got a phone call from my dad on my wedding night asking if we liked the hotel room he got for us. It had twin beds.

I'll have to let Dad know somebody thought his little joke was funny.

Victor Infante -

Oh, and saw the new Harry Potter. It's fun. Branaugh is perfect, but he knew that.

Katefate (during a discussion of contemporary feminism): Why no, I'm not bitter, because that would be unattractive.

John H: Of course, one of the things in our seminar which was very strongly emphasised was that people should not attempt to make real-life meetings with other people they meet online. That was certainly going to end in trouble...

Anne W: Or at least TOO MUCH CANDY.

erikaj: No! If you were dying, I would say don't renew your magazine subscriptions.

Jess PMoon in Buffy, RE Capalert:

CAP: Nor the Rock-solid investigation standards.

JESS: The show the film to baby Jesus and see if he cries?

From, believe it or not, Literary Buffistas

Jim Eaton-Terry: I note no-one has used the word "engorged" yet. Shame.

PMM: His proud, engorged manhood jutted from its nest of crisp, dark curls. Eugenie blanched. Surely there was no part of her that could fit such a thing! If only the nuns had told her more of what to expect on this, her wedding night. Trembling, she shrunk back against the magnificent feather bed, so different from the pallet of straw she had been used to during her time at the convent. It's magnificence was as imposing as Ralf's staff, and overwhelmed, she began to weep copious, bewildered tears.