Technically, I should wait to see when they're done, but I think this does deserve to be posted so far.
Buffistas add on to the Fight Club rules in Movies:
9. If this is your second time at Fight Club, you have to bring the tea and crumpets.
10: If Hunger Games contestants show up at Fight Club, you may fight them or trade your crumpets for their scones.
11. Gloves are mandatory for tea time. Hats should be removed.
12. Fight Club Daycare Center is provided for those Fight Club members who could not find a sitter. Fighting is allowed in Fight Club Daycare Center, but gambling on the results is not. Juicy Juice is supplied for all children in Fight Club Daycare Center, but only children who win in a fight get cupcakes.
13. Fight Club is not in any way affiliated with Club Fight. Bringing a club shall be grounds for a strongly worded reprimand.
14. If people show up dressed as monsters and claim they thought this was Fright Club, don't believe them. They've done this before. Apparently it's some flash mob thing.
15. For people interested in snubs, Slight Club is on Wednesday Nights Only. If you can't figure this out consider yourself disinvited.
16: If someone from Knight Club shows up at Fight Club and offers to fight, turn them down. Howerver, if two memberw of Knight Club show up and offer to fight each other, let them. They're actually pretty good, and it's amazing to watch. Seriously, you gotta check this shit out.
[17.]Fight Pub will be open only AFTER the club meeting. Beers are two for five, but only if you punch the bartender first.
18: If the guy from Flight Club shows up, you'll want to turn down his offer to fight. Seriously, he'll try to chop you up with the propeller of his Piper Cub.
19. If you have shown up for Fight Cub, YOU MONSTER. Fight Club does not endorse violence against cute widdle baby bears, only grown testosterone-fueled men.
20. DO NOT TALK about Fight Pub. Seriously. They don't have a liquor license and are trying to stay under the radar, so don't ruin it for everyone.
Contributors: tommyrot, hec, P-C, Steph, Scrappy, Sue, billytea (I know I'll have missed someone. Sorry!)
In Movies, about the Ferris Beuller Superbowl commercial:
Juliebird: I find it disturbing how much makeup Broderick is actually wearing.
Matt the Bruins fan: Last thing dude sees every night before falling asleep is Sarah Jessica Parker; I can see how that would skew one's impression of the appropriate amount of makeup to wear.
In Natter:
ita !: The guy who sold me my car was named Cas(s). I took that as a sign. From above. He gripped me tight and raised me from public transportation.
In Bitches, Shir answers the question of what's the name of her new dog:
Shooky. That's the name the pet rescue center gave him.
I call him "cat" (in Hebrew: hatul). Or asking him "who's a pretty cat?". And then he looks at me like I'm a very stupid person, but it's OK. I prefer cats, he has a silly name, I taunt him, he looks down on me. It's a vicious circle.
Bitches was on fire last night, and I'm not quite sure how best to capture it. But it deserves to be kept for posterity. I re-arranged some of it for clarity.
omnis_audis
we are borg. You have been assimilated!
Shir
At this point, I don't really care if you all end up being three sick and twisted men who are seekretly conspiring to get my ass to the U.S. and sell my organs to experimental conceptual artists.
I'll still love you.
Connie Neil
Damn, she's on to us.
smonster
Two sick and twisted men, one diabolical guinea pig. /pedant
billytea
One pedantic diabolical guinea pig.
smonster
No, duh, I'm a sick and twisted man. This is what you get for skipping meetings, billytea.
Toddson
Me, I'm a dog (and no one knew!)
brenda m
Dang, I keep forgetting which of us is the guinea pig.
Toddson
Well, we know billytea's the echidna.
Shir
Take my liver Take my hand Chop my legs 'till I cannot stand...
Sean K
I'm actually a broom.
Steph L.
Family Guy reference?
Sean K
But of course.
Steph L.
Well done. ("To be honest with you, Diane, I'm surprised.")
NoiseDesign
I'm a little teapot.
Short.
And stout.
Jilli VoiceOfReason
This is my handle.
And this is my ...
::looks at both arms making handle shapes::
Dammit, I'm a sugar bowl.
(And that, folks, is why I got to take a note to my parents from my kindergarten teacher. I had not learned the same song as the other kids. Thanks Dad!)
Connie Neil
Oh, thank god I wasn't on a phone call when I read that and laughed.
omnis_audis
Shir, I promise, even though I work for a School of the Arts, and 2 floors above my office is a ton of MFA art students, I promise I will not chop you up and sell your body parts to them for art. Chain you up in my basement, sure. But.. I'm not one for all that blood with chopping up. Then ya gotta clean. And the bleach smell. Blah. Yuck. Plus, they are art students. That's a double wammy for no money.
Natter...maybe this wouldn't be as funny if it weren't ita, but I think any woman who debates social issues can relate:
I have heard less whining from guys I have actually smashed in the nuts. It's been years since I've heard a guy pull the "well, excuse *me* for having a penis!" screaming flounce.
Buffistas do taxes:
KateP: Ooh, we need to do our taxes. I've never owed before, but M is convinced we will owe this year. We'll see. We did (finally) start putting together a baby registry tonight, so I feel all oneroused out for the time being.
Polter-Cow: I read that as a portmanteau of "onerous" and "aroused" and thought the difficulty of doing your taxes turned you on.
Matt the Bruins fan:: Hey baby, that's a mighty big deduction you've got there!
Kate P.: Heh. Nerdiest form of masochism ever?
Gudanov: Get ready to itemize, I've got the long form, baby.
