In Movies, about the Ferris Beuller Superbowl commercial:
Juliebird: I find it disturbing how much makeup Broderick is actually wearing.
Matt the Bruins fan: Last thing dude sees every night before falling asleep is Sarah Jessica Parker; I can see how that would skew one's impression of the appropriate amount of makeup to wear.
In Natter:
ita !: The guy who sold me my car was named Cas(s). I took that as a sign. From above. He gripped me tight and raised me from public transportation.
In Bitches, Shir answers the question of what's the name of her new dog:
Shooky. That's the name the pet rescue center gave him.
I call him "cat" (in Hebrew: hatul). Or asking him "who's a pretty cat?". And then he looks at me like I'm a very stupid person, but it's OK. I prefer cats, he has a silly name, I taunt him, he looks down on me. It's a vicious circle.
Bitches was on fire last night, and I'm not quite sure how best to capture it. But it deserves to be kept for posterity. I re-arranged some of it for clarity.
omnis_audis
we are borg. You have been assimilated!
Shir
At this point, I don't really care if you all end up being three sick and twisted men who are seekretly conspiring to get my ass to the U.S. and sell my organs to experimental conceptual artists.
I'll still love you.
Connie Neil
Damn, she's on to us.
smonster
Two sick and twisted men, one diabolical guinea pig. /pedant
billytea
One pedantic diabolical guinea pig.
smonster
No, duh, I'm a sick and twisted man. This is what you get for skipping meetings, billytea.
Toddson
Me, I'm a dog (and no one knew!)
brenda m
Dang, I keep forgetting which of us is the guinea pig.
Toddson
Well, we know billytea's the echidna.
Shir
Take my liver Take my hand Chop my legs 'till I cannot stand...
Sean K
I'm actually a broom.
Steph L.
Family Guy reference?
Sean K
But of course.
Steph L.
Well done. ("To be honest with you, Diane, I'm surprised.")
NoiseDesign
I'm a little teapot.
Short.
And stout.
Jilli VoiceOfReason
This is my handle.
And this is my ...
::looks at both arms making handle shapes::
Dammit, I'm a sugar bowl.
(And that, folks, is why I got to take a note to my parents from my kindergarten teacher. I had not learned the same song as the other kids. Thanks Dad!)
Connie Neil
Oh, thank god I wasn't on a phone call when I read that and laughed.
omnis_audis
Shir, I promise, even though I work for a School of the Arts, and 2 floors above my office is a ton of MFA art students, I promise I will not chop you up and sell your body parts to them for art. Chain you up in my basement, sure. But.. I'm not one for all that blood with chopping up. Then ya gotta clean. And the bleach smell. Blah. Yuck. Plus, they are art students. That's a double wammy for no money.
Natter...maybe this wouldn't be as funny if it weren't ita, but I think any woman who debates social issues can relate:
I have heard less whining from guys I have actually smashed in the nuts. It's been years since I've heard a guy pull the "well, excuse *me* for having a penis!" screaming flounce.
Buffistas do taxes:
KateP: Ooh, we need to do our taxes. I've never owed before, but M is convinced we will owe this year. We'll see. We did (finally) start putting together a baby registry tonight, so I feel all oneroused out for the time being.
Polter-Cow: I read that as a portmanteau of "onerous" and "aroused" and thought the difficulty of doing your taxes turned you on.
Matt the Bruins fan:: Hey baby, that's a mighty big deduction you've got there!
Kate P.: Heh. Nerdiest form of masochism ever?
Gudanov: Get ready to itemize, I've got the long form, baby.
Hec, in Bitches.
DavidS
The remoulade sauce I made for the TJ crabcakes was quite tasty, so now I'm going to lavish it on my...
Shit. I'm cooking a sausage but I just can't put it in that sentence without the meaning going horribly awry.
Anyway. Weenie with remoulade. Nope. Still bad.
Not amusing, exactly, but important enough to save for posterity. Bonny fides in Bitches.
Today, we talked about the reasons I'm thinking about taking this dog and my friend said something like, "Well, because you are lonely."
I just smiled, shook my head and glanced at my computer monitor. "Nope. I'm never actually lonely."