Rick:

Something I find both charming and depressing is the number of former English majors who appear to make their living in Spam. I have received offers for tourist information from Leopold Bloom, for new home financing from Howard Roark, and for legal advice from Sydney Carton. One lucky morning I received soulful e-mails from both Natasha Rostov and Helene Kuragin. Natasha was going to supply me with the ROMANCE that I always wanted. This seemed proper, given that Natasha had once captured my heart, along with the hearts of every other adolescent boy forced to read War and Peace at one point or another. On the not-so-proper side, Helene Kuragin offered to introduce me to sexy, fun-loving girls of easy virtue right in my own hometown. It's not clear how much good it does the average American guy to know about fun-loving, slightly mercenary girls in his hometown, given that he by now almost certainly lives hundreds of miles from his hometown, but if anyone would be good at finding these girls it would be Helene Kuragin.

MtBF: [Tom Cruise] should have picked on someone his own size.

ita: A shot against Gary Coleman is always a cheap shot.

In Natter, about L&O:SVU

ita

I've also heard it called "L&O: Rape Is Bad"

Frankenbuddha

Now for some reason I'm expecting a show called "L&O: Math is hard."

Jessica

I thought that's what Numb3rs was supposed to be.

Hec: Hey Kate! Give me a romance report!

katefate: DX! If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!

Aimee in Bitches:

My dignity was removed. Apparently, it's attached to the placenta.

Ah, the joys of the outdoors in BITCHES.

Beej:

Another camping incident of note involved the disposal of a small cylindrical feminine product on a mountain side covered with small rocks. I did not have the appropriate equipment for deep burial and felt pretty damn quilty about it. So...I trod the rocky incline for what seemed like about a half hour, looking for the perfect place to deposit the offending object. Please understand, the rocks were uncountable in number. Roughly a trillion.

Finally, I settled on the one...if not the RIGHT one, which lay about 3/4 up the rise. I picked it up and what did I find underneath? Another tampon!! I swear, I nearly swallowed my tongue.

I went mad kicking over dozens of other rocks to determine whether or not I'd stumbled onto some sacred tampon burial ground but nope...my rock simply turned out to be some spiritual sister's 'right rock' too.

Calli in Bitches on being pro-child leash:

I'd care more about the safety of a small child than the opinion of an asshat.

In his verse:

Tim Minear: Okay, so my mom just called me from Georgia. Visiting my aunt and uncle. I was just like, "this isn't television fit for you people!"

Kristin in Natter:

HELP STOP AM STUCK ATTEMPTING TO GET JUNIOR REMEDIAL STUDENTS MOTIVATED TO REVISE THEIR RESEARCH PAPERS ON AN 84 DEGREE DAY IN JUNE STOP SEND EXTRACTION TEAM STAT STOP MAY JUMP OUT WINDOW SOON IF NOT RESCUED STOP SINCE I AM ON FIRST FLOOR THIS WILL LIKELY RESULT IN RIDICULE RATHER THAN ESCAPE END

connie neil in Natter:
I woke up once to my cat in the processing of hacking up a hair ball--onto the other cat. Said other cat was just staring at my cat with a look of "You're not! You wouldn't dare! Are you puking on me!!??" To which the answer was "Yes."

Now when other cat gives a look of deep, wounded reproach, we call it his "you allowed me to get thrown up on" look.