Betsy: The building with the cookies is having a fire evacuation.

No cookie for me.

I went for a walk around the lagoon.

A walk is not a cookie.

I returned to the vending machine. They were out of Peanut M&Ms, so I got Plain. Then I went upstairs.

We don't have any unflavored fizzy water. We only have artificial berry-flavored.

My plans for the remainder of the afternoon: Sulk.

Allyson: So in third world speak, it'd be all:

I went out to get an egg this morning but some sort of beast ate my hen, so I had to suck on the same root I had yesterday.

Then I decided to walk to the watering hole to get a bucket of water to start boiling leaves for that friggin' whooping cough that won't let up, and tripped over my 8th youngest kid, who succumbed to the ebola.

It's just not my day.

bon bon: Did I tell you all about my rich neighbor who has a chicken and seven kids? She's really got it made. Me, I'm a spinster. I WISH I had some root and a husband. At least I have one leg to take me past my daily stoning.

Rio: LISTEN SHAWN IT'S ME OR FLAMING VAGINA, YOU TAKE YOUR PICK!!!

Knut: Gods, I love irony. I wish I could grind it into a powder and snort it.

Timelies all!

Am enjoying this trip down memory lane.(even if I have to explain why I'm snickering to G)

I think shrift edits.

The benevolent tyranny has no comment.

We might need to keep her just a little bitter and jaded.

You say that like it's not in the default installation package of every shrift.

Shrift: urband legend.

"Into each generation a Duck Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One. One born with the driving skill to run over the quacks, to stop the spread of fowl and death by nibbling."

OK, this was going to be the funniest thing I've ever read

I WISH I had some root and a husband. At least I have one leg to take me past my daily stoning.

...until I saw Rio's.

Hee!

Shawn: I need help keeping a wake-up schedule. Maybe a dawn simulator.

ita: Can I try?

GETOUTGETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!!!!!!!!

You say that like it's not in the default installation package of every shrift.

There's only one shrift. Into every generation...

Aurelia: I may not completely comprehend the math, but it makes more sense to me than comic book heroes I've never heard of and chicken fucking.

Ah....my favorite COMM:

Rio: The bagel thing fits in with my larger theory about white people and muffins. I don't have time to go into detail right now, but basically the thing is: White people just want to eat muffins 24/7, but they are ashamed of this fact, so they take totally good yummy foods like bagels and coffee and ice cream and turn it all into muffins. Hence stuff like the blueberry bagel. The caramel latte. The chunky chocolate-almond-caramel-fudge ice cream. JUST EAT A FRELLING MUFFIN, WHITEY! That is what I say.