I'm mostly writing here due to my experience working with communities who experienced cases of harassment/gender/sexual based violence, as I have been a lurker for far too long now. I am also writing here because as so many of you said, I still consider this community as home, and I care about you very much.

First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone who shared their experiences and concerns and perspectives. It is never easy, but it is essential. Thank you for sharing these publicly. I believe you, and I believe the backchannel.

I am too shocked and angry. PC has never done wrong to me as far as I can remember and I liked him until reading this thread, but I always read here knowing and thinking that everyone who post here are doing so with an open heart and generosity and wishing not to cause any harm to others. It may be naive, but that is how I read the posts here, every time, without exception. This is why it's home.

I agree with warning/banning PC off the board and giving Stompies permission to act upon the wishes of the parties that are hurt by his actions and behavior. While I hope that that will be enough for Buffistas to start the healing process, I also wish to share a few things from my experience of working with communities in the present and past. I cannot emphasis the next part enough: it's never a "they said/they said" when a community is involved. It weighs in on the entire community. Healing takes place only when the community is actively involved in the process, in accordance and cooperation with wishes and needs of the parties who were subjected to the toxic behavior. If you wish to read more, I recommend INCITE!'s materials at [link]

My inbox is open to all of you. Last but not least, thank you for still trying to be a safe place and do better. I can only hope that PC will follow the lead in person, and that the board can have a fresh start.

And I love you all, very much.

[Edited: because grammar]

Karl, thank you for posting that. I was never in the Supernatural thread so I was never aware of it. I'm also sorry you felt uncomfortable being here.

Yes to the proposal, and even to unilateral banning. I am one of those who MARCIE'D years ago because of behavior on the board, and still get reports of bad off-board behavior.

Karl, good to see you. What you said is much like what I was feeling around then. I totally get it.

Karl, thank you so much for sharing that with us.

Karl, thanks for trying. Agreed that reading that old thread is nausea-inducing. Even his apology is a non-apology. Classic. (Also, am retroactively questioning my preference for Sam)

DCJ, thanks for stepping up.

Liese, excellent points. Also, I adore you, but you knew that.

Strix, you seem to be doing the work, and I salute you. And I'm so glad for your own sake.

Strix, what smonster said, very much so.

And Karl, wow, thanks for pointing to that. It's eye-opening now. And while I can understand the reaction of the women in the thread at the time, it's sobering to know seeds of Sunil's behavior were growing that long ago.

Also, rereading the SPN thread is so bittersweet.

I've been following and processing and wanted to say I am glad that we've agreed to have a vote to not follow the usual process, because I am a big fan of respecting our own rules, and given what has come out here and elsewhere I will vote to ban PC. I didn't even realize he was an active poster here any more or had been for years - I thought his social climbing had taken him far beyond our pool of small fish! But I also did not realize he had harassed members of our community, so even if he were not still a current poster I would support a ban on those grounds.

And I really liked what Trudy had to say and identified with it.

I'm sorry, Karl. I wish I'd known.

Damn it, I hate when my gut is right about people.

This is me. While I never hand any direct issues with him, his active presence in Bitches ruined it for me. He's certainly not the only reason I'm not around as much, but it certainly didn't help.

I've been following along and absolutely on board with the ban. I think a vote to change our procedure in this case is also appropriate. I will definitely vote to to make sure we reach quorum.