Strix, what smonster said, very much so.

And Karl, wow, thanks for pointing to that. It's eye-opening now. And while I can understand the reaction of the women in the thread at the time, it's sobering to know seeds of Sunil's behavior were growing that long ago.

Also, rereading the SPN thread is so bittersweet.

I've been following and processing and wanted to say I am glad that we've agreed to have a vote to not follow the usual process, because I am a big fan of respecting our own rules, and given what has come out here and elsewhere I will vote to ban PC. I didn't even realize he was an active poster here any more or had been for years - I thought his social climbing had taken him far beyond our pool of small fish! But I also did not realize he had harassed members of our community, so even if he were not still a current poster I would support a ban on those grounds.

And I really liked what Trudy had to say and identified with it.

I'm sorry, Karl. I wish I'd known.

Damn it, I hate when my gut is right about people.

This is me. While I never hand any direct issues with him, his active presence in Bitches ruined it for me. He's certainly not the only reason I'm not around as much, but it certainly didn't help.

I've been following along and absolutely on board with the ban. I think a vote to change our procedure in this case is also appropriate. I will definitely vote to to make sure we reach quorum.

I had no idea of any of that. I support the ban, too.

Karl, I wasn't a reader of the SPN thread, but I want to express my apology for your experience.

I love us all, and I regret my lack of awareness and support for any of you who were hurt or offended.

This.

Karl, I wasn't a reader of the SPN thread, but I want to express my apology for your experience.

I love us all, and I regret my lack of awareness and support for any of you who were hurt or offended.

Seconding both of these, and adding that I'm so sorry for my own contributions. I know I was one of his occasional defenders, probably because I identified with his lostness and awkwardness and social floundering so deeply. From my teens into my early twenties, I was so much like him I give myself the creeps thinking about it, and it made me extend the benefit of the doubt longer than I should have and ignore the expressed bad feelings of Buffistas whom I love and respect. I'm deeply sorry.

(Edited to delete waffle words and own my shit.)

If it was the case of one or two reports of interactions gone sour, I'd slide towards benefit-of-doubt, but there are too many, and some of them from sources whose judgment I have long trusted.

I'm really sad about this, because this is a side of PC I have never experienced. In a way, it feels like I'm mourning a death.

I had no idea. Came over here due to DC's post on FB. I am so sorry that so many buffistas were hurt, discomfited and driven away by Sunil's behavior.

I agree that a vote for skipping the usual process is good - both to make. Lear that we are conscious of the break in our usual process and because it brings the issues and circumstances to the attention of the whole community.

It makes me sad that any of us chose to avoid this place and f2f gatherings because of him.

I'm really sad about this, because this is a side of PC I have never experienced. In a way, it feels like I'm mourning a death.

I feel the same way. But also angry.