In psychological terms, 'grooming' indicates manipulative behavior on the part of any abuser intent on engaging victim focus. It is most often used in child abuse cases, but is by no means specific to those cases.

Gaslighting, isolating, intimidation, sexualizing...are all part and parcel to grooming, stalking and other abusive behaviors.

The only thing I can figure is that the term "grooming" is being used with respect to the promises he was alleged to have made to young writers—of promising to add them to a list of people he "might" follow on Twitter.

Mind you, that's one of the most flabbergasting things I've heard because seriously, who CARES if he follows them on Twitter, but then, I put it down to the fact that I've known him far longer than these people and initially within a far different context.

Man, even typing it out, it looks ridiculous, but it's something I've heard from multiple sources.

I agree. Who gives a good goddamn? But I guess he's not an undergrad pipsqueak anymore...he's a *published* pipsqueak. I guess I never thought of a follow as a commitment much, though, either...there might be a subtext for "the kids" that I have not been aware of, but my twitter is just a grab-bag of writers, politics junkies, and attempting to get John Cusack's attention... I can't imagine seriously using it for Capital-N Networking, but maybe that's why I could read that saga on a Thursday, right?ETA: No Cusacks were stalked or threatened, or even confronted with my inspiring status. Pinky swear.

Mind you, that's one of the most flabbergasting things I've heard because seriously, who CARES if he follows them on Twitter, but then, I put it down to the fact that I've known him far longer than these people and initially within a far different context.

But it's in the context of their careers in SFF publishing and his power as an editor and reviewer. (Because it sounds silly as hell to me, too, but only because I'm not at all in that sphere.)

I super hate this all the way around, you guys. I hate that people I care about -- MY people -- were hurt and don't feel safe here. I hate that I didn't know what was happening and my silence contributed to people feeling unsafe. And I hate that someone I've always liked is not who I thought he was.

I feel like by saying something, I've contributed to these negative effects on his career. Which is ridiculous. But it still upsets me. I don't want to see that kind of thing happen to him, and yet he's brought it upon himself.

I didn't realize he'd become a deal. (Maybe not a huge deal yet, but, funny how people expand when you try not to think about them, ever.)

I super hate this all the way around, you guys. I hate that people I care about -- MY people -- were hurt and don't feel safe here. I hate that I didn't know what was happening and my silence contributed to people feeling unsafe. And I hate that someone I've always liked is not who I thought he was.

What Steph said.

I feel like by saying something, I've contributed to these negative effects on his career. Which is ridiculous. But it still upsets me. I don't want to see that kind of thing happen to him, and yet he's brought it upon himself.

Dana, I get it, I really do. But thing is, he HAS brought this on himself. All of it. I've been watching him, professionally speaking, for well over a year—I watched how he behaved at cons, shunning people in favor of those he thought were higher up the professional food chain, and inflating his own accomplishments at the expense of others.

To wit: as an editor, he had a tendency to take the spotlight for himself rather than shining it on the authors whose work he'd acquired. This, to me, is a pretty big faux pas and as an author, if he'd done this to me, no way would I have ever submitted to him again. I also know there were a lot of seasoned professionals who were giving him the hairy side-eye for the behavior, but much like the behavior he was chided for on the board, a lot of people put it down to his inexperience and youthful exuberance and that he'd grow out of it.

Obviously, he didn't and I kept watching, thinking that at some point, he would have burned one bridge too many.

I just didn't think it would happen with the force of a box of C4 detonating.

I feel like by saying something, I've contributed to these negative effects on his career.

Absolutely not. He did that to himself when he decided to act like a dick.

edit: Or what Barb said.