Much love to both JenK and her mother. I'm glad she and Matt are continuing to have adventures.

I love hearing about Buffistas spending time together!

I’m home from mom’s overstuffed with food and in trouble for making Francesca cry when I put a timer on to get ready to go after asking her to put her shoes on at least five times.

My mom just had the Look of Death(my brother can imitate it, being the most likely recipient.) When Ta-Nehesi Coates writes about The Look Of Not Playing, I wonder if it is the same face. (maybe not fully, but in intent, perhaps)

I call it the Death Glare. ltc is quite good at it.

Definitely related.

Well, my MiL is here. All week.

If she really wanted to be supportive, she would give me a fucking break.

I've seen her every month this year. For weeks at a time.

And I'd be good with seeing her once a year.

Even when she's trying to be nice she says something shitty.

Aw, so sorry that you aren't consoling each other right now. All that stuff is so heavy, and you aren't gonna see it the same way. Just because you're very different. But being shitty to my bunky is not making her friends. Sending ma to both of you, actually.

Is there somebody you could ask to be your Dan Dority and tell folks you're "not receiving"?

Aw, so sorry that you aren't consoling each other right now.

She's no consolation. She was actively shitty during the last weeks of Jacqueline's life. Narcissistically privileging her grief over helping/engaging with JZ, or supporting Matilda or me. Left in a screaming rage on the day my wife died. She's a trial and requires a fuck-ton of energy for me to deal with her.

She's humorless (self admitted!), judgmental, passive aggressive, sulking, skulking, sour, crabby. It sucks for me to be in her space for an hour much less a week.

Is there somebody you could ask to be your Dan Dority and tell folks you're "not receiving"?

I'm working out the wording on dis-inviting her to Thanksgiving before she gets any ideas.