When she was trying to compliment me on the phone last week by saying, "I've looked through Jacqueline's photos as a child and she was always laughing. Then after the horrible incident when she was 14 she's not laughing in any pictures until she's married to you.

There are a lot of things I don't like about your marriage with Jacqueline but I want you to know that I appreciate that about you."

That was her idea of reaching out.

I’m so sorry, Hec. I know how hard that is and I don’t know any helpful tips to bear up under it, but you’ve got my sympathy

Hec, I’m sorry. She sounds like the opposite of Jacqueline. Does she have a good relationship with Matilda?

I had a grandma like this, too.Maybe worse, if only slightly. When we were kids, she had a portrait taken...of herself. I learned the word "prostitute" because she dressed as one for her dancing school costume party.(I might make that up, but I swear I didn't!) I tell my mom she should be crazier, but she says it's bad enough. Make no mistake...although I can't even imagine the whole maternal grief thing? If there are sides, I'm totally on yours. Even if everything was great between, y'all you need some peace and backrub more than you need to host anyone.

My brother is an awesome grandma wrangler. (At times, it verges on the disturbing when one pictures meeting his girlfriend with glasses on a chain) But I wish he could run interference for you...she'd love him, too.

Strength to you, Hec. It is hard, but it should pay off in the long run if you can refrain from feeding the negative energy creature.

Does she have a good relationship with Matilda?

They are close. But Matilda is kind of mad at her for yelling at me when Jacqueline's body was taken out. And generally just being a sour-ass presence for the last weeks.

No bullshit, Hecubus, but you have been my fucking hero for how you've handled all that stuff. I think my mother might build a shrine or some shit, because even though she's given up on men, for some reason she doesn't want me to(Not that the World At Large tells the difference between me On The Market or off, exactly.) But I think she's hoping I find one with nurturant qualities and an empty dance card.

Which is, kind of, good luck. Not that I'd be at a commemoration all, "So, got plans after this?"

My grandpa used to say "You stick the knife in and jiggle it," and my grandma was, indeed the mistress of the art, but I'm sad to see that all the worst practitioners aren't dead yet. You mean, "Thank you for giving my girl her smile back." Thinking you're a sloppy Bohemian could totally wait for the twelfth of never, even giving points for pain that makes you smash things.