I hadn't thought of the Victorian Trading Company!

All my class got those engraved cards, they were meant to be inserted into the generic graduation announcements instead of having to have all the announcements personalized.

Our whole senior high school class was required to order "calling" cards, printed (or engraved, oooh) with our first, middle, last name, to go in graduation invitations. We had our choice of card stock, ivory or white, paneled or not, and font, to match our chosen style of invitations. And we could order a minimum of both, or extra cards, presumably for all those afternoon calls we'd be making. Leaving them or mailing them with resumes was suggested, but in that case having address and phone number on them would have been good. We exchanged them "to remember each other" by.

ETA: or sorta What Connie Said.

Huh. I never knew that was what they were for. Maybe our whole class got them, then. If "I" sent out graduation announcements, my mom did it!

There's a lot of stuff I just don't remember. I'm always amazed by people who remember details about their school days. Even when it was happening, I didn't care! Such a bad attitude.

Now you mention, Todd, I'm pretty sure I still have a box somewhere of cream colored, decently heavy cards with first, middle, and last names. I think we had to buy them to insert in our graduation announcements, but we only bought 20 or 25 announcements, but the cards came in boxes of a hundred or something.

ETA, Todd and everybody else! You guys type way faster than me!

I have to say (on a potentially sensitive note) that I really wish I knew what was in people like Judge Kavanaugh's thoughts, when an accuser comes out like this. Like, does he not even remember it? (Like, it happened, but that was the sort of thing he was often up to or drunk or wasn't significant, he might not) Does he remember it differently, as her being willing or him not going that far or everyone laughing or whatever? Does he remember the same but not feel/didn't feel at the time like it was problematic? Or is he perfectly aware and just covering his ass for days? I'm not saying any of those are good or right, or mitigate it. I'm just super curious.

I suppose getting blackout drunk is one way of dealing with that kind of cognitive dissonance.

There have been studies done (and if I was a good person I could find a cite) with college student males, and there are two disturbing results.

1. Women/girls are not actual human people the same way men/boys (and sometimes not boys) are. They are ambulatory and decorative, and placed on earth and in one's path precisely to be useful to men, however men see fit. It's psychopathic in a sense, but it's also acculturated. Most males can be enlightened and retrained from this learned behavior.

2. Males don't perceive that rape or molestation is a violation. The standard response when a woman/girl cries rape is, why is she making such a big deal? It's just sex. They literally don't see any difference between consensual sex and rape, or understand why consent is important.

Scientific studies, conducted by university anthropology and psychology departments.

These were four-five years ago, one hopes educational efforts have made a dent, but in the current societal climate, I wouldn't bet on that.

ETA: The sampling of student males was in answer to a questionnaire taken by the students at large, and selected because of their responses. Not every male fell into one of the two categories, let me hasten to add. Just the ones who gave troubling responses.

Males don't perceive that rape or molestation is a violation. The standard response when a woman/girl cries rape is, why is she making such a big deal? It's just sex. They literally don't see any difference between consensual sex and rape, or understand why consent is important.

That's my guess with Kavanaugh. A sense of entitlement is woven in there, too -- *he* wanted it, so it doesn't matter what she wanted.

Women/girls are not actual human people the same way men/boys (and sometimes not boys) are.

I mean, that's reflected in the reaction to Christine Blasey Ford. Women are not believed, more often than not. (Unless, of course, a man corroborates her story.) And also, our society has no concept of how trauma works (i.e., the people asking "Why didn't she tell anyone, 30 years ago?" "Why is it still a 'big deal', 30 years after the fact?" etc).

Like, does he not even remember it? (Like, it happened, but that was the sort of thing he was often up to or drunk or wasn't significant, he might not) Does he remember it differently, as her being willing or him not going that far or everyone laughing or whatever? Does he remember the same but not feel/didn't feel at the time like it was problematic? Or is he perfectly aware and just covering his ass for days?

The facts as I understand them:

- False rape accusations are vanishingly rare. Therefore, Ford is telling the truth.

- *Before* the rape allegations surfaced, Kavenaugh collected "he did not rape me in high school" statements from 65 other women. Therefore, he remembers the assault well enough to have prepared in advance to defend himself on the topic.

I don't know if he feels any kind of personal moral guilt, or if he just thinks this is one of those things Democrats/women are always making a big deal out of.