I suppose getting blackout drunk is one way of dealing with that kind of cognitive dissonance.

There have been studies done (and if I was a good person I could find a cite) with college student males, and there are two disturbing results.

1. Women/girls are not actual human people the same way men/boys (and sometimes not boys) are. They are ambulatory and decorative, and placed on earth and in one's path precisely to be useful to men, however men see fit. It's psychopathic in a sense, but it's also acculturated. Most males can be enlightened and retrained from this learned behavior.

2. Males don't perceive that rape or molestation is a violation. The standard response when a woman/girl cries rape is, why is she making such a big deal? It's just sex. They literally don't see any difference between consensual sex and rape, or understand why consent is important.

Scientific studies, conducted by university anthropology and psychology departments.

These were four-five years ago, one hopes educational efforts have made a dent, but in the current societal climate, I wouldn't bet on that.

ETA: The sampling of student males was in answer to a questionnaire taken by the students at large, and selected because of their responses. Not every male fell into one of the two categories, let me hasten to add. Just the ones who gave troubling responses.

Males don't perceive that rape or molestation is a violation. The standard response when a woman/girl cries rape is, why is she making such a big deal? It's just sex. They literally don't see any difference between consensual sex and rape, or understand why consent is important.

That's my guess with Kavanaugh. A sense of entitlement is woven in there, too -- *he* wanted it, so it doesn't matter what she wanted.

Women/girls are not actual human people the same way men/boys (and sometimes not boys) are.

I mean, that's reflected in the reaction to Christine Blasey Ford. Women are not believed, more often than not. (Unless, of course, a man corroborates her story.) And also, our society has no concept of how trauma works (i.e., the people asking "Why didn't she tell anyone, 30 years ago?" "Why is it still a 'big deal', 30 years after the fact?" etc).

Like, does he not even remember it? (Like, it happened, but that was the sort of thing he was often up to or drunk or wasn't significant, he might not) Does he remember it differently, as her being willing or him not going that far or everyone laughing or whatever? Does he remember the same but not feel/didn't feel at the time like it was problematic? Or is he perfectly aware and just covering his ass for days?

The facts as I understand them:

- False rape accusations are vanishingly rare. Therefore, Ford is telling the truth.

- *Before* the rape allegations surfaced, Kavenaugh collected "he did not rape me in high school" statements from 65 other women. Therefore, he remembers the assault well enough to have prepared in advance to defend himself on the topic.

I don't know if he feels any kind of personal moral guilt, or if he just thinks this is one of those things Democrats/women are always making a big deal out of.

Before he collected witness statements, I would have gone with "I may have done something like that, but I don't remember who I was with." Generic available female at a drunken party. Which is why I only went to parties where I knew everyone (not that that's a guarantee)

There's also the possibility that he did this, or something like it, often enough that he doesn't remember her and this specific occasion (sorry, the cynicism tag doesn't close).

It's never just once.

Or he may remember her as "the one that got away."

You can have a little more time with Harvey then. May those days be full of comfort for you and your wise old cat.

I have been trying to simply enjoy the moment with him, but the last few weeks, I have had a hard time with it, feeling that perhaps this good run was drawing to a close. I am so relieved and grateful.

Zenkitty, I hope you got some pain relief.

I'm off to take my MTTC (Michigan state test to qualify for a teaching certificate). I am slightly terrified. It's done electronically, so I will get a preliminary score when I finish. I'll let you know how it goes.