is it possible that they did an EKG/EEG and some blood tests and he didn't have the markers to get the tests right away?

Pretty much they said that cardiologists don't come in on the weekends. Trufax. Because apparently people are not so thoughtless as to have heart attacks on the weekends.

Teppy, you're not horrible. Really. It is possible to know logically that this is a situation that you can handle on your own and still emotionally want your partner there with you. I don't see anything wrong in that at all. Are you able to at least call Tim and talk with him or is he in an area with spotty cell reception.

I think feeling contradictory things is inevitable in any relationship. There are also the SOs who don't go on the camping trip, but spend the weekend telling you how you should deal with something you've been dealing with for 15 years.

Are you able to at least call Tim and talk with him or is he in an area with spotty cell reception.

He texted me yesterday morning to tell me he was turning his cell off because he forgot his cell charger.

So.

All of those things are true, and I fully acknowledge them, and yet I'm still annoyed. I'm allowed to feel those contradictory things, right?

Yes. I can't count the number of times I feel these contradictions. We can't read each other's minds. If Tim had decided he was going to stay home despite you telling him to go then you would feel guilty about him not going. There is no answer that doesn't lead to contradictory feeling.

Teppy, perfectly understandable. Head thinks, of course it's fine, heart says, don't wanna be alone!

I've accomplished much this weekend! My sister was here, and I roped her into helping me spread mulch and pine bark, and break ground for a new bed for shrubs and flowers at the side of the house, and transplant the phlox ("the phlocking phlox") from a raised flower bed where it didn't belong to a little eroding slope where it can do good, and we planted pansies and finally used all my collected bricks to edge a new bed and create a proper walkway to the patio. We worked six hours yesterday and another hour this morning. My face is windburned/sunburned and my cheeks and nose are all pink. Also, my back and thighs and butt ache like crazy. I really am horribly out of shape.

And then we set up my brand-new sewing machine and she helped me learn how to use it. I think maybe I can do this "sewing" thing. Yay, I needed a new hobby.

There are also the SOs who don't go on the camping trip, but spend the weekend telling you how you should deal with something you've been dealing with for 15 years.

Damn. you do not lie.

Hon, if you you'd like me to come with you to the hospital, drop by and pick me up. Or you can come over and plant peas on the balcony.

(IOW, you have a localista now! Take advantage of me!)

Thanks, flea! It's not that I mind going to the hospital by myself (though I would rather plant peas than go to a hospital -- I hate them); I just...don't like being left to deal with this alone.

And if I had asked Tim to stay, I would totally have felt guilty. So it is kind of a no-win situation, and I get that.

And now I really have to get out of here, since I needed to leave half an hour ago. Bah. It's a nice day and I planned to walk the dog. Well, there should still be sunlight when I get home.

Teppy, one of these days we can have a conversation about the contradictory thoughts I had every time S went into the hospital again.

You are not feeling anything worth beating yourself up over.