Teppy, perfectly understandable. Head thinks, of course it's fine, heart says, don't wanna be alone!

I've accomplished much this weekend! My sister was here, and I roped her into helping me spread mulch and pine bark, and break ground for a new bed for shrubs and flowers at the side of the house, and transplant the phlox ("the phlocking phlox") from a raised flower bed where it didn't belong to a little eroding slope where it can do good, and we planted pansies and finally used all my collected bricks to edge a new bed and create a proper walkway to the patio. We worked six hours yesterday and another hour this morning. My face is windburned/sunburned and my cheeks and nose are all pink. Also, my back and thighs and butt ache like crazy. I really am horribly out of shape.

And then we set up my brand-new sewing machine and she helped me learn how to use it. I think maybe I can do this "sewing" thing. Yay, I needed a new hobby.

There are also the SOs who don't go on the camping trip, but spend the weekend telling you how you should deal with something you've been dealing with for 15 years.

Damn. you do not lie.

Hon, if you you'd like me to come with you to the hospital, drop by and pick me up. Or you can come over and plant peas on the balcony.

(IOW, you have a localista now! Take advantage of me!)

Thanks, flea! It's not that I mind going to the hospital by myself (though I would rather plant peas than go to a hospital -- I hate them); I just...don't like being left to deal with this alone.

And if I had asked Tim to stay, I would totally have felt guilty. So it is kind of a no-win situation, and I get that.

And now I really have to get out of here, since I needed to leave half an hour ago. Bah. It's a nice day and I planned to walk the dog. Well, there should still be sunlight when I get home.

Teppy, one of these days we can have a conversation about the contradictory thoughts I had every time S went into the hospital again.

You are not feeling anything worth beating yourself up over.

Teppy, one of these days we can have a conversation about the contradictory thoughts I had every time S went into the hospital again.

Honest to God, when Hubby gives me that look and says, "I think it's time for the ER," my second thought is "God dammit, again!?" and not in the "please god help me" sense. The worry pathways get worn out, and anger isn't that far below.

But there's shit-all you can do about it except deal.

of course it is completely normal to have contradicery feelings

Nice to hear about the quality sister visit time, Zen. I miss sewing. I need to get back to it.

I hope the hospital visit yields some answers to your questions, Teppy.

All of those things are true, and I fully acknowledge them, and yet I'm still annoyed. I'm allowed to feel those contradictory things, right?

Yes. Oh yes, you are allowed the contradictory feelings.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty... [link]