The problem in Utah is exacerbated by the frequency of local news to feature people with Hispanic last names as the perps in violent crimes, and I've never been able to find out if it's a bias in reporting or a true reflection of what's happening out there. In Utah, the assumption is that the "good" white folks "don't do that sort of thing."

My mom's been having a pretty rough time caring for her mom lately. I'm trying to think of something nice to do for her, aside from maybe conspiring with my sister to make a surprise visit. (And bringing my Nubar collection with me, if I can make it up to Michigan that weekend.)

The problem in Utah is exacerbated by the frequency of local news to feature people with Hispanic last names as the perps in violent crimes, and I've never been able to find out if it's a bias in reporting or a true reflection of what's happening out there. In Utah, the assumption is that the "good" white folks "don't do that sort of thing."

I think that's sort of always the question.

Along with "are you enforcing laws more stringently with yer brown folks" (Is the "Oh but they're such nice kids! They just made a mistake!" available to all high school students? Hmm?) the two go a long way towards how crime is percieved.

shrift, I think a weekend visit would be a great idea. She might need time to just decompress and having you two there to care for her mother, or a to provide a good excuse to go on an outing, would be thoughtful.

If your mom's the type, a spa gift certificate? Or, if her mom is at home with her, a gift of a service coming into clean the house over?

A visit from the Peapod or drugstore.com fairies for staples? Certificate to a favorite restaurant/take-out place, with a B&N certificate if she likes to read? A gas card?

A bottle of her favorite wine, some lavender oil, 2 valium and an Ambien?

White privilege is thinking "what a scumbag" when another white person commits a crime without having to worrying what reflection and effect it will have upon other white people. Every single time a black person in Oakland (my town) commits a crime, I wince; it just allows people who harbor prejudices to keep their bullshit ideas going.

(Is the "Oh but they're such nice kids! They just made a mistake!" available to all high school students? Hmm?)

Yes, you always need to turn the situation around and see how it's played. Does that shoe pinch if it's on the other foot, hmm? Then maybe, juuuussstt maybe, it ain't fair.

That's not a bad idea, Burrell. I talked with her for a long time last night, and having an extra pair of non-judgmental hands for a weekend wouldn't hurt.

(And I don't think I've mentioned it here because it's early days yet, but I'm going to be an aunt again come December!)

If your mom's the type, a spa gift certificate?

Maybe a massage would help. I give her B&N gift certificates often because the women in my family do like to read, but she hasn't got much time for that lately. But having help with grandma may be the best thing I can give her right now.

Oo, congratulations Auntie shrift!

I'm sure your mom would love to see you, Auntie Shrift. Then maybe you could chase her out the door for a massage (or have someone come to the house if that's stress-inducing in its own way).