(Is the "Oh but they're such nice kids! They just made a mistake!" available to all high school students? Hmm?)

Yes, you always need to turn the situation around and see how it's played. Does that shoe pinch if it's on the other foot, hmm? Then maybe, juuuussstt maybe, it ain't fair.

That's not a bad idea, Burrell. I talked with her for a long time last night, and having an extra pair of non-judgmental hands for a weekend wouldn't hurt.

(And I don't think I've mentioned it here because it's early days yet, but I'm going to be an aunt again come December!)

If your mom's the type, a spa gift certificate?

Maybe a massage would help. I give her B&N gift certificates often because the women in my family do like to read, but she hasn't got much time for that lately. But having help with grandma may be the best thing I can give her right now.

Oo, congratulations Auntie shrift!

I'm sure your mom would love to see you, Auntie Shrift. Then maybe you could chase her out the door for a massage (or have someone come to the house if that's stress-inducing in its own way).

But having help with grandma may be the best thing I can give her right now.

It's an amazing gift to give. Any help or respite at all.

And congrats on more Aunt-ness.

Congrats, Auntie!

I'm sure feeling free to get out and about for a weekend, or even an afternoon, would be appreciated, shrift. And congrats on the new auntness. Being an aunt is terrific.

Not surprisingly,I suppose, I agree with everything above regarding the AZ law and like bon bon, I don't think the law will be around very long. Besides the federal/state issue, which is huge, I'm not sure how you enforce a law without violating civil rights when the cop is supposed to just...decide who to ask without racial profiling.

But the one thing I always point out in this discussion s that immigration law is administrative, not criminal. Yes, there are some immigration crimes (meaning you can be charged criminally) but in those cases you a) can get a public defender and b) have full access to the Constitution. But those crimes are small in number and rarely prosecuted. They DON'T include being here without a visa or overstaying your visa. So are those people violating a law? Yes, but not a criminal one.

Of course, the real fiction here is calling removal, or deportation, an "administrative penalty". It upends someone's entire life and in many cases is worse than jail. But until we start providing non-citizens with an attorney to defend themselves, and a hearing in which they have full access to the Constitution, I hate hearing immigrants called criminals when the context is simply being here without a visa.

But the one thing I always point out in this discussion s that immigration law is administrative, not criminal. Yes, there are some immigration crimes (meaning you can be charged criminally) but in those cases you a) can get a public defender and b) have full access to the Constitution. But those crimes are small in number and rarely prosecuted. They DON'T include being here without a visa or overstaying your visa. So are those people violating a law? Yes, but not a criminal one.

Pfft. You and your facts.

I kinda feel like that's a bit of a mommy faux pas, not making the birthday dessert for the family celebration,

Burrell, NO. Was it festive? Yes. Was it delicious? Yes. You have done your mommy duty in spades.

Nevermind that every time I encountered this? Their families had been settled legally in this country longer than my own pale ass family.

Yeah, I had a Chicana roommate in college who was from San Antonio, and I'm pretty sure her family had never immigrated anywhere -- they were there when it was Mexico, and stayed when it became Texas.

But having help with grandma may be the best thing I can give her right now.

I think so, too, shrift.