Buffy ,'Get It Done'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Billytea comments on the news of a garbage theft in Bitches.
Police are on the lookout for a pair of masked assailants, described as being roughly 2 feet tall, with sensitive paws and an omnivorous diet. Members of the public are cautioned not to approach them until the police have had a chance to set up the video camera.
flea: Our current potty-training efforts are continually stymied by masturbation.
Toddson: I think I hit the side effect jackpot - I sleep like a baby and it's suppressed my appetite.
Steph L.: Time to break up with Claritin.
Gudanov: While you are make lifestyle changes, maybe you should consider breaking up with the candle and embrace the light bulb. Those compact florescent bulbs are pretty cool.
Steph L.: Still electricity's unwitting slave, I see.
Gudanov: Says the person using the Internet. I'll bet you're not setting your computer on fire in order to get online.
Scrappy: Wait, you mean you can get online WITHOUT setting your computer on fire?
Toddson:
I'll bet you're not setting your computer on fire in order to get online.
although I've been tempted ....
Jessica: Wait, you mean you can get online WITHOUT setting your computer on fire?
I am on the edge of my seat waiting to learn how!?!?!?!!
connie neil: I find having banks of hamsters running in little wire wheels provides me with all the power I need. Run, my little minions! Run!
flea: I hate you, Tino in the admissions office. I hate your incompetence and complete lack of returning phone calls and emails. I barely know you, Tino, and yet, you have made me hate you.
tommyrot: You know, I think I hate Tino as well....
Gudanov: Fuck you Tino!
Barb: I think we should blame Tino for everything that goes wrong today.
tommyrot: Tino obviously caused our power outage.
Also, the outage screwed up the cafe's coffee makers. I almost had no gourmet coffee!
Bad Tino!
Frankenbuddha: Tino's responsible for these ominous clouds that are rolling in. Fuck you, Tino!
billytea: I can't even begin to tell you what Tino's been leaving in Ryan's pants.
Typo Boy: It strikes me that when the right goes nuts it never quite reaches the degree of inspired lunacy that use to afflict the far left. An actual quote:
My name is Gandalf the Violet. I shall speak in a strictly personal capacity. As such, I speak in the name of the Elves of Fangorn Forest, the Coloured Nuclei of Red Laughter, the Absent Phantom Political Movement, the Dada-Hedonist Cells, Worker’s Joy and Student Rejoicing, the Schizophrenic International, the Disturbed Clandestine Nuclei, the Chicory Tribe, the Cimbles and all the Metropolitan Indians..
tommyrot: God, how many times do I have to tell Gandalf the Violet - he doesn't speak for my Dada-Hedonist Cell....
In Bitches--
Vortex: Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. Had a great dinner with friends last night, and went out to dinner with the family. Dinner included my mother having a few too many and telling us that she and my dad had sex every day. AAAAAHHHHHH! Scarred for life!!! (I mean, knowing my dad, I'm not surprised, but I didn't need to KNOW)
ChiKat: Happy birthday, darlin'!! For your birthday wish, I grant you a short memory wipe. That unfortunate tidbit is now gone from your mind forever! Poof!
DavidS: ::high fives Vortex's Dad on the astral plane::
In Bitches, wrt lamenting about love (or lack there of)
Raq: Yeah, you're really missing out on the other person's random mood swings, bizarre demands, strange sleeping habits, strange eating habits, fights about money...and that's just in a healthy relationship.
Of course, you're also missing out on the potential for daily sex, but that might just be Vortex's parents.
NoiseDesign: I don't want to have daily sex with Vortex's parents. IJS.
Trudy Booth: I get a lot of that from the roommates and don't get to have sex with either one of them.
In Bitches, further considerations on love
omnis audis: I'm thinking an ad in Craigslist to start the Elenor Rigby Society or something. If we get all the lonely people together, might have a better chance of them not being so lonely.
tommyrot: Yeah. Or else maybe we'd end up with all the lonely people in one big room, with everyone saying, "God, the rest of you all suck."
Trudy Booth: At least we'd finally find out where the hell they all come from.
Gud, in Natter:
I have do idea who Lady Gaga is but I say that she and Tino can both go to hell dammit!