DavidS
"Limp and lactating is no way to go through life, son."
Ben: I didn't ask for any of this. I just want to be normal. Gronx: I wanted to be an underwear model. We play the hand we're dealt.
'Touched'
Coffee On My Monitor Again
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Toddson - May 07, 2009 11:21:08 am PDT #61 of 1328
Friends don't let friends read "Atlas Shrugged"
amych - May 07, 2009 1:36:23 pm PDT #62 of 1328
Now let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?
shrift, calli, natter
shrift: So it turns out that SHOUT Wipes do a fairly decent job at cleaning blood stains.
Calli: I'll remember this for the next all-staff meeting.
Glamcookie - May 08, 2009 1:17:19 am PDT #63 of 1328
I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say I am like no one in the whole world. - Anne Lister
In Movies:
Steph L.: Oh, no no no. Never dis The Goonies!!!
DavidS: Not only do I dis it, I pull off its head and shit down its neck.
Then I put it inside a turducken and deep fry it. When it's golden brown and crispy, I deface it with magic markers, mocking it in pidgin French and then I bury it in a box in a hole with an atomic powered iPod set to play Celine Dion in an endless loop.
Scrappy - May 09, 2009 7:45:05 am PDT #64 of 1328
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Billytea comments on the news of a garbage theft in Bitches.
Police are on the lookout for a pair of masked assailants, described as being roughly 2 feet tall, with sensitive paws and an omnivorous diet. Members of the public are cautioned not to approach them until the police have had a chance to set up the video camera.
Trudy Booth - May 11, 2009 7:35:20 am PDT #65 of 1328
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
flea: Our current potty-training efforts are continually stymied by masturbation.
Trudy Booth - May 12, 2009 11:53:07 am PDT #66 of 1328
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
Toddson: I think I hit the side effect jackpot - I sleep like a baby and it's suppressed my appetite.
Trudy Booth - May 13, 2009 10:01:50 am PDT #67 of 1328
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
Steph L.: Time to break up with Claritin.
Gudanov: While you are make lifestyle changes, maybe you should consider breaking up with the candle and embrace the light bulb. Those compact florescent bulbs are pretty cool.
Steph L.: Still electricity's unwitting slave, I see.
Gudanov: Says the person using the Internet. I'll bet you're not setting your computer on fire in order to get online.
Scrappy: Wait, you mean you can get online WITHOUT setting your computer on fire?
Toddson:
I'll bet you're not setting your computer on fire in order to get online.
although I've been tempted ....
Jessica: Wait, you mean you can get online WITHOUT setting your computer on fire?
I am on the edge of my seat waiting to learn how!?!?!?!!
connie neil: I find having banks of hamsters running in little wire wheels provides me with all the power I need. Run, my little minions! Run!
Steph L. - May 14, 2009 6:42:21 am PDT #68 of 1328
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated
flea: I hate you, Tino in the admissions office. I hate your incompetence and complete lack of returning phone calls and emails. I barely know you, Tino, and yet, you have made me hate you.
tommyrot: You know, I think I hate Tino as well....
Gudanov: Fuck you Tino!
Barb: I think we should blame Tino for everything that goes wrong today.
tommyrot: Tino obviously caused our power outage.
Also, the outage screwed up the cafe's coffee makers. I almost had no gourmet coffee!
Bad Tino!
Frankenbuddha: Tino's responsible for these ominous clouds that are rolling in. Fuck you, Tino!
billytea: I can't even begin to tell you what Tino's been leaving in Ryan's pants.
Calli - May 15, 2009 11:33:10 am PDT #69 of 1328
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
Typo Boy: It strikes me that when the right goes nuts it never quite reaches the degree of inspired lunacy that use to afflict the far left. An actual quote:
My name is Gandalf the Violet. I shall speak in a strictly personal capacity. As such, I speak in the name of the Elves of Fangorn Forest, the Coloured Nuclei of Red Laughter, the Absent Phantom Political Movement, the Dada-Hedonist Cells, Worker’s Joy and Student Rejoicing, the Schizophrenic International, the Disturbed Clandestine Nuclei, the Chicory Tribe, the Cimbles and all the Metropolitan Indians..
tommyrot: God, how many times do I have to tell Gandalf the Violet - he doesn't speak for my Dada-Hedonist Cell....
Beverly - May 17, 2009 7:54:17 pm PDT #70 of 1328
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
In Bitches--
Vortex: Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. Had a great dinner with friends last night, and went out to dinner with the family. Dinner included my mother having a few too many and telling us that she and my dad had sex every day. AAAAAHHHHHH! Scarred for life!!! (I mean, knowing my dad, I'm not surprised, but I didn't need to KNOW)
ChiKat: Happy birthday, darlin'!! For your birthday wish, I grant you a short memory wipe. That unfortunate tidbit is now gone from your mind forever! Poof!
DavidS: ::high fives Vortex's Dad on the astral plane::