Oliver ,'Conviction (1)'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
In Bitches, concerning the appropriate way to break the news of a relative's passing:
Steph:
I offer the strongest proof I can think of that I was raised by wolves: my mom just sent me an e-mail with the subject line "Uncle Woody Died."
In. The. Subject. Line.
Erika:
Jesus, Steph's Mom, can't you say he was up on the roof first?
Seriously, how is it possible I'm the first one to repost this?
Sean, in Bitches. Context would be pointless:
I half expect her to tattoo (C)(R)(TM) all over her vajayjay next, and then send out a C&D letter to all 3.5 billion women on the planet.
Scola, in Natter:
Why should I assume it's Missouri Day just because you told me? Can you show me that it's Missouri Day?
Not especially funny, but worth noting, I think. In Natter,
Cashmere:
I hate those seriously introspective moments. I wish I could be oblivious to the shitty things I've done in the past. But then I remember that knowing they were shitty makes me a better person in the future.
They're our existential Marty McFlys.
In Natter.
tommyrot: Did you all know that "The color PURPLE is a trademark of 3M"?
3M claims ownership over purple
ita: Prince will fuck their shit up.
If we could embed animated GIFs, I would just have done this.
Tom Scola: Sheen’s rep, by the way, characterized Sheen’s outburst as “an adverse allergic reaction to some medication.”
Jesse: Yeah, I'm allergic to too much booze and blow, myself.
Cass: Kittenish tried to steal pizza from me tonight. It had zero ingredients she'd like to nom, but it was there and she had to try. Thankfully she hasn't taught the dumb one any bad habits. And since K is old, she can pretty much do what she likes so long as she stops trying to eat my food when I am still eating it.
In F2F:
Sparky1:
The Deanna Rose Children's Farm in Overland Park is awesome.
Calli:
That's where they come from? I knew the whole sex thing was too complex to be believable.
Consuela: I heard Dike Van Dyke on "Wait Wait" recently, who claimed that Bert's accent was a result of the dialect coach the studio had hired, and not his fault! He was very amusing.
Matt the Bruins fan: If so, I can only assume the dialect coach was a member of the IRA who chose a unique way of striking a blow against England.
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