Gabriel: Are you trying to destroy this family? Simon: I didn't realize it would be so easy.

'Safe'


Natter 57 Varieties  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Vortex - Apr 07, 2008 7:58:48 am PDT #9881 of 10001
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman

But would be hilarious if men had these sorts of issues finding underwear that fit.

Don't know if it's hilarious, but it amused me.

Smarmy Sales Guy: Welcome to BornFreeBall, may I help you?

Clueless Customer: My girlfriend is making me come here for an underwear fitting.

SSG: Right this way, sir. What will you be using this underwear for?

CC: What do you mean?

SSG:Well, will this be used for sports, for social purposes, both . . .?

CC: Oh, um, both, I guess.

SSG: Great, thank you. Now, I'm going to need to measure your penis.

CC: What?

SSG: Most of you are wearing the same size that your mother bought for you in high school. That will not do. We need to get measurements for a proper fit. We tried asking for an estimate, but we found that our clients tended to exaggerate. We cannot obtain a proper fit based on ego.

CC: Fine, fine!

SSG: Okay, sir, can you tell me if you dress right or left?

CC: wha?

SSG: Right or left, sir?

CC: I don't know . . .

SSG:*sigh* Which side do you put your junk on when you pull up your pants?

CC: Oh! Um, right.

SSG: Thank you. What size do you currently wear?

CC: 34.

SSG: Oh, my heavens, no! You've been wearing the wrong size! Notice how your appendage just hangs there? With a proper fit, you will look so much better! Our growing room option can prevent embarrassment in social situations.

CC: Huh?

SSG: In social situations, some men find it advisable to have some additional space in the event of an unexpected change in size.

CC: Um, I guess.

SSG: Great! Now try these on! See how they accentuate the curvature of your buttocks? Also, notice how we have accentuated the positive while not being vulgar.

CC: I guess so?

SSG: Now we have a variety of styles and colors for you to choose from . . .

CC: I don't care, just give me some underwear!


Aims - Apr 07, 2008 8:04:03 am PDT #9882 of 10001
Shit's all sorts of different now.

Which side do you put your junk on when you pull up your pants?

Bwahahahahahaha!!

"I cut a hole in the box."


lisah - Apr 07, 2008 8:07:36 am PDT #9883 of 10001
Punishingly Intricate

Hah! Vortex made my day!


erikaj - Apr 07, 2008 8:08:43 am PDT #9884 of 10001
I'm a fucking amazing catch!--Fiona Gallagher, Shameless(US)

wrod.


flea - Apr 07, 2008 8:12:32 am PDT #9885 of 10001
information libertarian

I was just buying boxer briefs this morning and there *were* a lot of choices... "the pouch" (highly reviewed!), "classic," "no waistband"...

I got a couple of different styles and we'll see what he likes.


Aims - Apr 07, 2008 8:14:18 am PDT #9886 of 10001
Shit's all sorts of different now.

I bought Joe a bunch of underwear that had the brandname on the front of the waistband so that every time his shirt rode up and his jeans slipped down his hips you could see the tag.

It said, "WINNER!"

Totally on accident and yet funnier than I don't know what.


shrift - Apr 07, 2008 8:17:30 am PDT #9887 of 10001
"You can't put a price on the joy of not giving a shit." -Zenkitty

Um- they are talking about this woman's YEAST INFECTION again at work. Dear god! Please stop talking about your cooter in the break-room.

I see your yeast infection and raise you a colonoscopy.


Miracleman - Apr 07, 2008 8:18:14 am PDT #9888 of 10001
No, I don't think I will - me, quoting Captain Steve Rogers, to all of 2020

I see your yeast infection and raise you a colonoscopy.

I fold.


Kristen - Apr 07, 2008 8:18:24 am PDT #9889 of 10001

My boobs are smaller than other women's boobs! I feel like taking a picture of my chest to show you that I can't possibly be that big!

Cup sizes don't seem to be "standard." By that I mean, the cups on my 38Ds were much bigger than the cups on my 36DDs. (I often thought I could wear one as a hat.) So I think the cup size is relative to band size or something.

As for the women measuring themselves, I tried that. My measurements told me that me I was, like, a 36G or something, which I did try and I could've put two boobs in a single cup. I finally caved and got myself measured.

One of the pleasant surprises about having a person in the store measure me was that she was able to tell me which brands sized differently. (For example, I'm a 36DD in one line but a 36D in others.)


Frankenbuddha - Apr 07, 2008 8:18:28 am PDT #9890 of 10001
"We are the Goon Squad and we're coming to town...Beep! Beep!" - David Bowie, "Fashion"

I see your yeast infection and raise you a colonoscopy.

Performed by a robot?