Being childless somehow meant that we weren't a "real" family--that we weren't "real" adults. Some people were (and are) downright patronizing about it.

I've run into that attitude a lot. In fact, someone once told me "Oh, once you outgrow this whole goth thing, you'll change you're mind about kids". I just boggled at them.

puts away cable knit sweaters to save for when Jilli grows out of the Goth thing

I've run into that attitude a lot. In fact, someone once told me "Oh, once you outgrow this whole goth thing, you'll change you're mind about kids". I just boggled at them.

My eyes just rolled so hard that they fell back into my skull and are rattling around in there like a rainmaker.

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I'm not.

ETA:

puts away cable knit sweaters to save for when Jilli grows out of the Goth thing

BWAH!!! What, no gauchos?

t kermit waves at Kristin

I'm over here!

t tacklehugs Aimee

Miss you, chica.

Boy, this has been an interesting discussion to read. It's reminded me, though, of the other spectrum...how many times I've been told that it'd be irresponsible for me to have children. And I do think about it and wonder if it would be worth it, or if I should try to fight for the right to adopt.

Then I wonder what kind of parent I would be. I've changed so much since the days where I was so certain in my parenting skills. I actually told one of my two-year-old's the other day, "It's ok to be angry. You can be angry." One of the other little girls responded, "He's not angry! He wants his mom!" And, I was like, whoa. Ok, so what works for me may not work for kids. Hmmm...interesting.

puts away cable knit sweaters to save for when Jilli grows out of the Goth thing

Gosh, how, er, thoughtful. Or something.

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I'm not.

There are so many times when I want to reply to people with "So, why did you think that's an appropriate thing to say to anyone, much less another adult?" But then I realize that I probably don't want to have That Sort Of Discussion with someone who would say things like that, anyway.

Btw, Plei?

I'm twitchy about this, because I *know* I'm judged by SAHM friends for working and having my kid in daycare, for not totally subsuming myself under the needs of the child. I strive to be good enough as a parent, and to raise a kid who is as happy and well-adjusted as possible, but not by sacrificing myself on the alter of a mythical perfect childhood.

I think that this is what makes you a healthy parent, which in my mind translates to a good one.

Miss you, too babycakes.

Gosh, how, er, thoughtful. Or something.

Always lookin' out, babe.

I think that this is what makes you a healthy parent, which in my mind translates to a good one.

Thanks!

I'm constantly shocked and alarmed by the various messages parents get, and the way parents judge other parents. I mean, what works for your family doesn't have to work for mine, you know?

There are pros and cons to everything. Would Lillian be happier with me at home all the time? Probably. But on the pro side, she's being raised with the notion of a professional woman as the norm, so it's a trade off.