Y'all are live ones this morning:

Alibelle: One of the football players in the class made a bust of himself as his uncle, "because he's the strongest guy I know. They have a gym in the prison where he's at, and he, like, works out all the time." Everyone in the room who was not a football player went totally silent and looked at each other like, oooookay. I think he really did just say that.

Alibelle: I disliked him so much that when I briefly worked at a used book store after college, I used to hide his books behind more interesting works if I couldn't just hide them in the back. It was petty but cathartic.

****

tiggy: today better be thankful it's friday because i have no amount of caring in my body.

shrift: I'd like to bash this morning's head in with a rock.

Dana: Yeah, it'd be a lot easier to care if the internet weren't dead. AWAKE, INTERNET. ENTERTAIN ME....

If people don't start talking, I'm going to make you guys pick my lunch again.

Lee: We could talk about what I should have for breakfast too.

Dana: You could have oatmeal.

I had a Luna Bar and half a Coke.

Lee: I have texture issues with oatmeal.

Maybe a bagel.

Tom Scola: Dana should have a turkey club for lunch, Lee should have eggs and toast for breakfast, and, to carry over a conversation from Bitches, lisah should get a pair of light blue tights.

I hope that clears a few things up.

Rick: As a bicycle commuter, I can testify that Porsches do not create much wind when rushing by. You hear the lovely sound of the engine approaching, but the car slices through the air so elegantly that it just flops back in place after the car passes. No wasteful turbulance streaming out to the sides. No bicycles blown into the ditch.

A truck trails a whoosh of air. A minivan trails a whoosh of air. A Porsche, just a whisper of regret that you don't own one.

beth b: Connecticut I never would have worn white shoes after labor day unless I was the bride.

Harry Potter Spoiler

Gudanov: Buck up buckaroo, you're going to be alive at the end of the book.

Can't say why this cracked me up, but it did.

SuziQ: My ferritin level is fantastic.

Another reason to love Nilly (in Natter):

paperdol: Will you write me a note?

Nilly: In two languages, with equations showing why I'm right, if they want some, too.

Aimee in bitches:

Also? I R DUM. I didn't make the whole Then Siam = Now Thailand connection until the Anna Leonowens reference. It's like I've been looking at the whole country thinking, "Ben is Glory?"

Dana in Natter:

O'Hare and I are not friends. We're like coworkers who really don't like each other, but are forced to interact, but occasionally one of them (O'Hare) does something to sabotage the other (me).

Laga cracks me up in Bitches:

Laga: You suck Omnis. & I hate you. On account of you have an iphone and i have a pizza.

Ok, this cracked me right the hell up in Procedurals:

brenda m: Hah. Snoop Dogg is on Monk.

billytea: Fo shizzle?