River ,'Safe'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
sarameg in Natter:
I hate FedEx. They keep insisting a postal code in India doesn't exist. Despite the fact that it's listed on the city's municipal site. And they won't even consider they might be wrong.
They did this to me over a medium sized city in the Ukraine once.
In Bitches:
Juliana:
Good morning, Bitches. I would like to announce that not only am I wear the cranky pants, I am also wearing the bitchy shirt and the "fuck all y'all" jacket. Please refer to me for all your misanthropic needs today - I am not up to Empress-levels of smiting, but I can sure as hell turn a good glower and sneer upon many people today.
Miracleman:
Seems to be going around. I myself have the full complement of Cranky Pants, Bite Me t-shirt and I think I may have inadvertently put on the underwear of You Suck, the socks of Seriously, How Has Someone Not Killed You? and the boots of JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WILL YOU SIMPLY CEASE TO EXIST ALREADY AND DO THE UNIVERSE A FUCKING FAVOR?
Steph L:
How about the shoes of "I am going to fuck you UP, motherfucker"?
Juliana:
It's the Boots of "Do NOT Fucking Talk To Me, Lest Your Head Be Permanently Lodged Up Your Ass", actually.
Topic!Cindy:
I can't get anything in the suburbs.
Erin writes an eloquent occupational manifesto in Bitches:
I'm tired of being looked down on by students and American society in general for being a teacher. The educational system may fail some students, by and large, most teachers don't. I chose this job; I didn't "fall back" on it, and I'm fucking smart; I could indeed being making more money as a lawyer or a doctor but I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. I spend more time with more kids than most parents.
I impart morals; I teach ethics; I encourage free thinking and reading and tolerance and joy and creativity, and I hold students to high standards. Kids have my phone number, I make sure they have food; I celebrate their lives with them, and and am like a big sister and an aunt and a strong female role model for boys and girls alike.
I do not deserve ANYONE'S scorn.
I love Erin. That made me go back and search out her teacher-as-high-roller drabble that I love so much. I've been meaning to print it out and hang it, and I just did so.
Shrift in Natter: I woke up psychotic this morning. I hate it when that happens.
In Bitches, where the weekend's accomplishments have been enumerated, and Polter-Cow is in training for a marathon, so has been running quite a bit.
MiracleMan:
What'd you do to make someone chase you twelve miles?
Polter-Cow:
My mom caught me with a white Caucasian she-devil.
Aimee, in Bitches: This should not, in the future, translate into SEX DREAMS about PRINCE EFFING CHARLES.
Vortex: Was he your tampon?
god, I swear I'm only setup. In Premium, regarding The Tudors:
SA: Heh. My friend T and I looked at each other at the first gratuitous sex scene and were like, "He didn't take off his pants, did he?" "Nope, didn't even finish unbuttoning them." "Guess Henry's a hump monkey then."
Matt the Bruins fan: But the mystery of why he had so much trouble fathering heirs is solved at last!
SA, I was just coming in to post that!
SA, I was just coming in to post that!