brenda topping my ugly cake stories:

I love ugly cakes. Someday I'll dig up a picture of the easter bunny cake my sister and I made that ended up requiring four hours, two trips to the store, a half a dozen toothpicks, and had gimlet flavored icing.

Attack Ads Against Jesus in Natter.

tommyrot: I mean, if Jesus ran, I'm sure they'd make up a bunch of bullshit to smear Him.... (Disciples of Jesus for Truth?)

Gud: Picture of Jesus Jesus wants you to think he's a well-reasoned, compassionate politician. But he doesn't want you to know about the real Jesus.
Ominous music, picture morphs to angry image of Jesus and pulls back to show him turning over tables in the Temple.
Witness Voiceover: He just went crazy, wouldn't listen to reason.
Another Witness: He's a madman.
Picture changes to show Jesus holding a whip in the Temple
Voice of small girl: He was so scary.
Fade to black.

Which one is the real Jesus, can you afford to be wrong.
Nearly Mumbled: Paid for by the Temple goers for truth.

Teppy: [voiceover] They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps.
[picture of Jesus with women of dubious character] Did you know Jesus is frequently seen in the company of whores?
[voiceover] They say you can judge a man by his actions.
[picture of revelers at wedding at Cana] Apparently Jesus has to have alcoholic beverages on hand at all times -- even going to far as to change pure, healthy water into wine.
[voiceover] And there are some things that, frankly, make us downright uneasy.
[picture of Jesus washing apostles' feet] What's with the foot fetish, Jesus?
[voiceover on black screen] Do we really want a kinky, alcoholic whore-lover in office?

Lyra: Fandom is crazy. HP fandom has extra crazy sauce.

Shrift: Ah, fandom, that has such whackaloons in it.

Boxed Set enlightens us on the early tragedies in SG-1:

Daniel Jensen: It was a weak link in the chain setting a capstone on some pillars. Chain broke, multiple ton stone falls....

OTOH? What kind of idiots stand under a 50 ton stone when it is being lowered, anyway.

Katie M: And you know it really is kind of funny, in an awful way. He was orphaned by a museum display, people.

Anne W: The fact that we kept getting to see the squishage over and over and over again also added to the unintentional funny. It was like Groundhog Day w/ archaeologists.

In Bitches:

Cass: Would someone go fetch me a new blank VHS tape so I can clear a few things off of my vcr? I'd go myself but I lack pants.

NoiseDesign: I lack pants as well.

brenda m: No pants here.

Fay: (I also have no pants, since we're having a head count. I'm using the UK meaning, though...possibly some of y'all aren't? Hmm.)

NoiseDesign: This is quickly becoming a pants free zone.

vw bug: I am wearing pants. This is why I'm the vanilla one.

Steph L: I invented pants.

Fay: A pair of pants once bit my sister.

erikaj: I'm wearing pants right now, AIFG.

Cass: All is now right in Buffistaland.

Plei, in Natter:

My desire to bitchslap some sense into the adult population does not bode well for my future in the PTA.

Gud in Natter:

So procrastination is trendy now? That's awesome, now I can be trendy by putting off becoming more trendy.

Perkins in Movies:

There is an exception for those who write the good porn.

See, it says so, right here in the old folk's handbook

F2F 3:

Dana: Husband is watching the movie "Coach Carter" (Samuel L. Jackson, triumph of the human spirit, blah blah blah), and the basketball team is out of town at a tournament. And staying at the Annabelle and Safari.

Samuel L. Jackson just walked away from our hospitality suite.

P.M. Marcontell: That's freaking hilarious. I'm going to mentally insert him into all my memories of that weekend.

Steph L.: "Hey, Sam! It's time for the OMWF singalong!"

"Mace Windu does NOT singalong, motherfucker!"

amych: Who are you, George fucking Lucas?

DAMN it, woman! I come home late, you beat me to it by hours.