In Bitches.

Erin: It takes a long damn time for my pasta water to boil. Stupid slow electrons.

Polter-Cow: Show them porn. That'll excite 'em.

Erin: I tried, but the cat peed on all my atomic porn, and it's simply unusable.

Polter-Cow: The Cat Peed on All My Atomic Porn is my new band name.

Erin: You play sphinctronica, of course.

Gudanov: Don't blame the electrons for the poor performance of your water molecules. The electrons are doing their best, it's those big slacker molecules that are to blame.

Erin: Dude, don't diss the water.

Topic!Cindy in Bitches:

(speaking on the fact that the kindergarten orientation was absolutely useless because the current teacher will not be there next year)

I asked him if we could sacrifice a goat to get Ben's old teacher (from another school, at which this guy was also Principal).

He may have looked at me funny.

Why can't everyone just be a Mutant Enemy fan, to make me not have to watch my mouth. I don't have to worry about swearing nearly as much as I have to worry about spouting out 'verse and fandom-isms.

Aimee in Movies:

I love "....the transgender agenda". It's my favorite. Although, to be honest, it's more of an itinerary.

KristinT: Aimee's got baby bubbles!

(Why am I now thinking she's going to give birth to sea monkeys?)

billytea: You've met the father?

Miracleman: That would RAWK!

...uh, I mean...what are you, a crazyhead?

sea monkeys would totally rock

amych: He ordered them out of the back of a comic book, didn't he?

Miracleman: Mock NOT the back-of-comic-book purchases.

The Hypno-Specs are how I got her to marry me.

billytea: "That would RAWK! "

It'd make for a much easier birth. And if it doesn't, then it'd make for a Doctor Who adventure.

KristinT: And then you'd take the little sea monkey niblets to their first day of school, and they'd have to explain why all the other kids didn't have to come to class in a paper cup...it would be tragic.

Miracleman: "Do you think those other kids have their very own fishbowl with a castle? Of course not. Don't you listen to them, sweeties. Now, put on your coat...we wouldn't want you to freeze solid."

KristinT: "But Dad, I don't look anything like that picture on the box!"

Miracleman: "And don't think I won't ask your mother about that!"

Natter:

Miracleman: Any indication as to, you know, WHY they hadda evacuate the Capitol?

Steph L.: Reagan has clawed his way out of his coffin and is looking for a tender young neck to bite?

Tommyrot: Rumsfeld and Cheney went berserk with jealousy when they were mistakenly told that Reagan had begun his ascension?

Raquel in LOTR, on the FOTR Extended Edition:

I was so stunned that they got Nigel Tufnel to do commentary! Then I realized that was Orlando.

In Natter, on cremation and burial practices:

Tommyrot: I am now picturing a headstone that says, "Hey, don't dig me up!"

Lilty Cash: I think I'll request to be buried holding a switchblade, with a little plaque reading "I'll cut you! Don't try it!"

Gudanov in Natter (context optional):

Most managers see the onset of cannibalism as a sign to cut the meeting short.

DavidS, in Bitches,

Thanks, Hil, you've taken the already neurotic and obsessive Bitch population and got them doing elastic man calisthentics across the country.

Fun with Firefly personality tests:

ita:

80% Zoe.

Huh.

MechaKrelboyne:

Only 80%. Someone's slipping.

ita:

I need a Wash.

Allyson:

I'll fight you for him.

Kristen:

Oooh! I'll bring the popcorn.

ita:

1. I thought Jayne wanted Mal.

2. Do you still need your jaw broken? This could be some strange sort of win-win.