Two from Great Write Way, context be damned:
erikaj :
If the world ends, will somebody come take my dictation?
connie neil:
Nearly every job I've gotten can be traced back to a Secretarial Typing course I took in high school. IBM Selectrics, those honking big beasts. First day of class, first instructions. "Turn on the machines". Big whirr of fans. "Hit the Return button." The guy sitting behind me does, and the carriage return flies off the machine onto the floor. He stares at it, then looks at the teacher.
"I should just drop this class now, right?"
Gus
in
Natter
expressing one of the constant problems with posting on an articulate board:
OK, five attempts spell "Mediterranean", followed by a really long look at "synchronicities" in a suspicious manner makes me think it is time to toddle off.
in Angel:
Cindy:
Screw you WB, and your little frog, too.
P. M. Marcontell, in the Minearverse:
I'm a 12 year old boy. With tits.
Teppy:
Announcement: I find the "Announcement/Analysis" format strange and off-putting.
Analysis: I am perhaps a crankypants today. Send coffee and pastry.
In Minearverse, ita sez, regarding fanboys who like girls who like comics:
I'm so over the "chick on my (stereotypically masculine) turf! Hawt!" thing.
So tommyrot responds with:
So chicks aren't impressed when I think it's hot that they can vote?
In Movies:
Aimee
(has just seen
The Ring
and is scared of her TV):
I'm scared that creepy fucking child is going to crawl out of it.
Frankenbuddha:
Creepy little girl only comes with Comcast, from what I've heard. So if you don't have Comcast, you should be safe.
If you have Comcast, you're fucked anyway, so the the creepy little girl is sort a relief.
Consuela:
I have Comcast, but I'm NGA. Do I need to upgrade?
I hate to COMM myself, but it's the setup for a series of hilarious and brilliant punchlines, so here goes:
>Teeth are living, and they are able to respond to a person's bite.
I can't wait for the ensuing Attack of the Mutant Monster Teeth! movies. And then all the bad reviews: "This movie totally bites." "Don't chew on this." "9 out of 10 dentists recommend not seeing this movie."
tommyrot:
"This movie hurts when you get ice cream on it."
Erin:
"Watching this movie is like biting on tinfoil."
Aimée:
"Won't take long before this movie gets pulled from the theaters."
Fred Pete:
"Brace yourself before seeing this one."
Aimée:
"This is proof of decay in the entertainment industry."
Gudanov:
"The writer should be capped."
tommyrot:
"Brush and floss thoroughly before seeing this one."
"The tooth fairy will charge you to take this one."
Ginger:
"Free jawbreaker with ticket."
Erin:
"Warning -- teeth-grindingly bad."
"There's a gaping cavity where the plot should be."
Gudanov:
"The plot felt like someone drilled out all the excitement and filled it with lead".
In Natter, Polter-Cow discusses his hyphen:
I also don't mind if the hyphen's not there, as long as you don't talk about personal computers or political correctness in the same sentence, cause that could get confusing.
Steph:
Like, if you bought a Dell laptop from the Micronesian Blind Lesbians' Society?
"I had to skip and skim -- anything happen recently?"
"Yeah -- PC bought a PC PC."
