Two more from Bitches, NOT AT ALL connected.
Amych: Somehow, I never guessed that we'd have a serious discussion of panda snot. Really, the duck necrophilia should've been a warning.
**************
Gud: ...you could just figure that when the eggs start wearing little black leather pants that they've gone bad.
From
Bitches:
Teppy:
We're listening to Christmas music at work, and you know what I realized about "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"?
Santa's a *playa*, yo!
deb:
Or Mommy's a *ho*, yo!
Teppy:
Well, I always figured it was about Mommy being a ho, but just today it struck me that it takes two, right? So, Santa = playa.
erika:
No, Santa's the playa...he could do that, what? A million times. Mom's a starfucker.
amych:
Mommy's expressing her true, vital, raw sexual power as a womyn, free of all oppressive social boundaries and expectations! They only want you to think she's a ho because it serves the interests of the double-standard-weilding patriarchy!
Santa, otoh? Total playa.
In bureaucracy:
PMM:
Dude. Monkey never gets old. You can shock it, spank it, puzzle it, bar it, see it, do it--monkey is the monkey wrench of the funny.
Shawn:
Case in point. From the front page of www.nytimes.com.
According to advisers and court records, Michael Jackson's wealth is being consumed by lawsuits and an appetite for monkeys, Ferris wheels and surgery.
Regardless of my innate recoil at that man's name, this is still a funny fucking subhead.
Matt the Bruins fan:
I think it's all money well-spent, in case he has to have his brain transplanted into Bubbles' body and run off to join a travelling carnival in order to escape the Law.
(DX, I think that was Sean, not me. I said something similar, and first, I might add, but I went unnoticed. Insert that saying about the guy who's never whatevered in his own something or other.)
(You did not go unnoticed. I just thought Sean was agreeing with you in a particularly vehemently head-bobbing sort of way.)
My adored erika in Bitches, after Cashmere's report on getting to sing karaoke with Andy Hallett:
What's he look like, when he's not, you know, green?
What's he look like, when he's not, you know, green?
This just brought up a question - has Lorne ever sung "It's not easy being green"?