Miracleman, concerned citizen:

"Dear Congressperson Soandso,

Kristen has to work the Day After Thanksgiving. Well, actually, she doesn't...but she has to use a comp day to not work the Day After Thanksgiving.

Is this what our forefathers sacrificed a turkey for? Is this what the settlers of Our Fine Land murdered and subjugated indigenous peoples for? Is this, I ask you, AMERICAN?!

I submit to you, Congressperson Soandso, that if Kristen has to use a comp day to avoid work on the Day After Thanksgiving, the finest day of digestion and wondering "Why did I eat all that and did I do anything REALLY STUPID while I was drunk?" that this country...no, the WORLD...has ever conceived of, then the terrorists have not only already won, but they've taken all the leftovers and thus we can have no Day After Thanksgiving Turkey Sandwiches!

Is this the kind of world you want to live in? No, I thought not.

Therefore I must ask you to declare the Day After Thanksgiving an official "Nobody Can Work And I MEAN It. No, Really" day in honor of Kristen.

Thank you,

A Voter."

And the followup, also from Miracleman:

I already got a reply.

"Dear A Voter.

AHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!! SUCKER! SUCKER!!

Thank you for contacting the office of Congressperson Soandso. The Congressperson doesn't care what you think as term limitations have ended the Congresspersons political career. The Congressperson will now make scads of money on the lecturing circuit and you will still have your crappy job.

We keep a file of every wack-job and nutbar that contacts this office with stupid suggestions. This file is routinely monitored by the FBI. Your ass is grass.

Thank you for your vote and your tax dollars.

Office of Congressperson Soandso."

I think it's just a form letter, though.

ita: Is goat buggering traditionally a group exercise? I only eat them, so I'm unfamiliar.

billytea: I'd guess no, as they tend to be proudly individualistic animals. Buggering sheep, OTOH, is no doubt far more sociable, and indeed may have already been declared the New Zealand national anthem. Watch for when the Kiwis take a gold medal at Beijing.

Matt the Bruins fan:

Okay, I'm just naively stunned by the thought that European society somehow went from the standard Greek practice of nudge, wink "mentoring" teenage boys to a set of morals in which the love that dare not bleat its name was seen as less scandalous.

Unknown Buffista:

But there wasn't a similar flogging-to-death punishment if one were caught in flagrante delicto with the livestock?

billytea:

Only if the goat wanted to press charges. Or if you were horning in on the Commanding Officer's action. "He has desecrated my beloved Bessie! He must be made to pay! Tie him to the mast and let him taste the cat o' nine tails till he breathes his last, and may his screams wash away the stain of his sin! Oh, and make it look like an accident."

Betsy HP:

Nothing will ever replace "fuck me gently with a chainsaw!" in my heart.

billytea:

Not even "Bugger me sideways with a fish-fork"?

Miracleman:

Or "Fuck him up the ass with a combination harvester"?

(Has COMM ever before known a single day of so damned much goat-buggery?)

Four times in one day? There will never be living him now.

Unknown Buffista above is Matt the Bruins Fan.

David S, in Natter:

"I shot a man in Reno / just for touching my tiara" - from RuPaul Sings The Greatest of Johnny Cash