wipes monitor clean Bitches? Very funny. Me? Can't. Stop. Laughing.
Steph L. telling Hec what to do in his interview: Don't swear or take off your pants.
- - -
Aimee: Maybe is mayo vs Miracle Whip.
Hec: Do you use Miracle Whip? Because Miracle Whip is ass.
Aimee: Ok, normally, I'd be all, "Hey! Leave the Miracle that is Whip alone!!" but you made me choke on my sandwich.
Hec: I think it was Satan's Condiment that made you choke. Not even one so evil as The Empreess can force Mirabile Frappe down her throat.
billytea:
Satan's Condiment
t imagining jars of Satan's Condiment alongside Paul Newman's brand
DXMachina: All profits from the sale of this item will be donated to charity. Last year, these charities included Disunited Way, Al Qaeda House, and the Republican National Committee.
- - -
A little later in the same conversation:
Steph L.: This is like the Alan Cumming thing, isn't it?
I had no idea so many people found him sexy.
And the hatred for Miracle Whip?
Huh.
You all need some serious brainwashing.
ChiKat: Now, I like both MW and Alan Cumming. And now I'm thinking of fun ways to combine the two.
Steph L.: ChiKat! Don't defile Miracle Whip for me!
ChiKat: I don't want to defile Miracle Whip. I want to defile Alan Cumming.
Trudy Booth: Hmmm... in this instance I might just eat the Whip.
amych: I like spiders and Alan Cumming, but not Miracle Whip. Or mayonnaise. Just for the record.
Pete: So I should extrapolate from this that you're going to cover poor Alan in spiders instead? My, that'll be a bad mixed signal for Jilli...
- - -
billytea: Here's a bit of trivia for you. I know that the raccoon population has increased twentyfold since 1930. I know that in Alabama, it's illegal to train a bear to wrestle. I know that the Argentinian lake duck's penis is an inch longer than the actual duck (17 inches, if anyone's counting). I know that not one of the Julian emperors passed the throne to their natural-born son. I know that not only does the female Australian redback eat her mate, but that the males fight for the privilege and will hurl themselves into her jaws. I know that there's a species of fruit fly that produces sperm that's twenty times its own length.
But I had to google Miracle Whip.
(editor's note: this was even funnier when I read it having just Googled MW myself.)
- - -
amych: This is taking my mind to a very, very bad Karate Kid place. Anybody have a scrub brush and some lye I might borrow?
billytea: Given where your mind went, I'm finding that request ambiguous.
- - -
ita: That's me. Full of ergonomic tips for the oversized dick.
Nora: Perhaps you could work this in the "special skills" section of your resume.
- - -
Theodosia: Most birds don't have penises. They use what biologists term a 'cloacal kiss.'
ita: You know, up to but not including the point where you interpret cloacal, that sounds kinda erotic.
- - -
Sean K.: This reminds me, during the F2F, on the Melrose shopping trip, Paul, aurelia and I were waiting for others to catch up, and were treated to sparrow porn.
A cute little birdie couple were knocking boots on top of a street sign, mere feet away from us.
Even the local fauna obliges with porn when Buffistas are around.
- - -
amyparker: I know the Brown-Eyed Boy plays with raptors. He says that feeding a bird dead mice is different from catching a spider and taking it outside. Don't ask me, I just work here.