A few completely out of context (because I skimmed. Dude is that weird at times) lemonade-on-sarameg's-pissed-off-cats:

BHP: Daintily stepping over the writhing pile of manflesh in the sterncastle, a lady of a certain age asks "Does anybody know if there are tiaras in the booty?"

~~~~~

Susan W.: Lawrence L-B and Handy Andy stand on the island as the dirigible drifts in for a landing. Andy comments he could easily fix the leak. Lawrence opines that while they're at it, the dirigible should be painted red and emblazoned with laser-printed portraits of ita and Orlando.

~~~~~

Aimee: Meanwhile, in Aimee's plundering of the ship's booty, she finds a big honking tanzanite ring and decides to sell it to open up her Wedding Business, ridding herself forever of the First Evil called "Corporate America". And moves to Wales.

~~~~~

sarameg: Stuff them under something! Hide them in a gawdawful ugly motheaten, over-febreezed-but-still-stinky coat!

~~~~~

sarameg: The pants have lipstick marks? Oh my, the stories you could make up with that....

From Buffy:

ita :

I'm coming from a very drifted snow perspective here. I knew one spoiler. Just one. And I was good with it. And just as well, since it's the one Tim dropped. Why won't the world leave me alone?

And to be even more annoying, they're being coy about Dawson's Creek spoilers. WHO CARES??!?!?

sobs into Java Jolt energy drink

P.M. Marcontell:

Dude. Dawson's Creek has spoilers?

Wow.

Can't they just recycle the old ones from the Bev?

ita:

That's what I'm saying! Nothing spoils Dawson's Creek more than watching it. Spilling plot points ahead of time is a service to humanity.

Hayden, in The Music Swells:

I think that I can get behind the latter contention to some degree. Just because all the Stooges agree that Iggy's been trying to sell out for thirty years doesn't mean that I'm not a bit annoyed to hear "TV Eye" in an SUV commercial. My annoyance is based in the cheapening of cool, though. TV Eye is an undeniable fuck song set to one of the most stripped-back ballsy-but-not-bluesy riffs I can imagine. The Ig's hollering about sex, sex, sex, the band is in perfect sync, and it's hard for me to imagine a definition of "cool" that doesn't include this song. By selling it to the SUV people, though, Iggy's made a bit of cash (which I have no problem with) but also lent his honest pioneer cool to this big lump of gas-guzzling cool co-option machine in Detroit. It's bad politics and uncool as hell. I can't be the only one who hates the whole macho SUV image, and hates that the Ig's overflowing teenage testosterone is tied to an SUV, can I?

Anyway, I don't blame the song or the songwriter. I do blame the ad guys for appropriating an undeserved image. And I honestly think that joker in Creed really believes that he's deep and honest in his songwriting. Despite that, given half a chance, I'd jab at him with hot pokers just to make him go away.

in Firefly -

Matt the Bruins fan: Good Lord man, were you taught how to run by muppets?

Mikal2200: Maybe he needs a strong hand up his butt.

Educating them over in Bitches:

Deena: I really need to know what ITA is. I know what (who?) ita is, but I'm guessing that's not the same thing.

Steph: ITA is "I totally agree."

Deena: argh! Thank you Steph.

I had some really strange things running through my head. International Transexual Association was the most recent, I think. Which, of course, didn't fit, but was fun.

Bitchy Goodness:

Anne W: "Mary Sue" is a plague upon the fanfiction (and even the professional fiction and film world). She is a character that the author inflicts upon the readers. She is beautiful, often in an exotic way, with an eye color rarely found in nature, and hair that should star in a Feria ad. Mary Sue often winds up saving the day, boinking the male lead, and befriending everyone and their dog (or wolf, if she appears in Due South fic). Many times, she winds up being a long-lost relative or bosom friend of one of the main characters. If she dies, it is a heroic sacrifice, and everyone weeps prettily at her funeral. She is often telepathic, frequently misunderstood (but only by characters the author hates), and is charmingly unaware of her own beauty and intelligence.

Mary Sue typically has a beautiful singing voice. Either that, or she plays the flute. If she is a Slayer, she is better than Buffy, if she is a witch, she's often more powerful than Willow. If she's an Immortal, she's older than Methos. She may have been interestingly traumatized sometime in her past. She has no genuine character flaws. The author will generally spend a great deal of time describing Mary Sue's clothing/eyes/hair in an attempt to distract the reader from the fact that MS scores a big zero in the personality department.

Deena: Oh! Mary Sue is me without my sparkling personality!

In Angel (whitefonted for character spoilyness):

Allyson: Big Rubber Disco Satan left a message on my voicemail. Sometimes, my life is surreal.

Narrator: And he said ...?

billytea: I'm guessing "All your base are belong to us" .

Natter, on bedtime stories featuring pirates who look strikingly like Orlando Bloom, kidnapping thereof, by a Masked Avenger swinging on handy ropes that hang from her trusty dirigible:

Betsy HP: I just like dirigibles. [...] Some people just don't have the imagination to -- why look! There's a leak in the dirigible!

Aimee: And like the Hidenburg (which was not a dirigible), it went crashing down.

"Oh the elfmanity!!"

Dana: Dude, he's not an elf. He's a pirate.

Unless he's an elf pirate.

Holli: He can be an elf pirate. Although if any species is suited to piracy, it's the hobbits.

What? No, think about it.

"oh the elfmanity" may be the funniest thing I have ever read.

Thanks, scrappy.