in Firefly -

Matt the Bruins fan: Good Lord man, were you taught how to run by muppets?

Mikal2200: Maybe he needs a strong hand up his butt.

Educating them over in Bitches:

Deena: I really need to know what ITA is. I know what (who?) ita is, but I'm guessing that's not the same thing.

Steph: ITA is "I totally agree."

Deena: argh! Thank you Steph.

I had some really strange things running through my head. International Transexual Association was the most recent, I think. Which, of course, didn't fit, but was fun.

Bitchy Goodness:

Anne W: "Mary Sue" is a plague upon the fanfiction (and even the professional fiction and film world). She is a character that the author inflicts upon the readers. She is beautiful, often in an exotic way, with an eye color rarely found in nature, and hair that should star in a Feria ad. Mary Sue often winds up saving the day, boinking the male lead, and befriending everyone and their dog (or wolf, if she appears in Due South fic). Many times, she winds up being a long-lost relative or bosom friend of one of the main characters. If she dies, it is a heroic sacrifice, and everyone weeps prettily at her funeral. She is often telepathic, frequently misunderstood (but only by characters the author hates), and is charmingly unaware of her own beauty and intelligence.

Mary Sue typically has a beautiful singing voice. Either that, or she plays the flute. If she is a Slayer, she is better than Buffy, if she is a witch, she's often more powerful than Willow. If she's an Immortal, she's older than Methos. She may have been interestingly traumatized sometime in her past. She has no genuine character flaws. The author will generally spend a great deal of time describing Mary Sue's clothing/eyes/hair in an attempt to distract the reader from the fact that MS scores a big zero in the personality department.

Deena: Oh! Mary Sue is me without my sparkling personality!

In Angel (whitefonted for character spoilyness):

Allyson: Big Rubber Disco Satan left a message on my voicemail. Sometimes, my life is surreal.

Narrator: And he said ...?

billytea: I'm guessing "All your base are belong to us" .

Natter, on bedtime stories featuring pirates who look strikingly like Orlando Bloom, kidnapping thereof, by a Masked Avenger swinging on handy ropes that hang from her trusty dirigible:

Betsy HP: I just like dirigibles. [...] Some people just don't have the imagination to -- why look! There's a leak in the dirigible!

Aimee: And like the Hidenburg (which was not a dirigible), it went crashing down.

"Oh the elfmanity!!"

Dana: Dude, he's not an elf. He's a pirate.

Unless he's an elf pirate.

Holli: He can be an elf pirate. Although if any species is suited to piracy, it's the hobbits.

What? No, think about it.

"oh the elfmanity" may be the funniest thing I have ever read.

Thanks, scrappy.

Emily:

Good lord. Amazon.de is trying to sell me "Songs from Ally McBeal." This is deeply wrong, on a wrongness scale which ranges from "hey, does that picture seem unlevel to you?" through "Ha! Embryos don't have gills, therefore evolution is clearly false!" to the Marianas-trench-like work of Rev. Phelps.

Shawn in Natter:

Incidentally I told my stylist I was trying to Get Some tonight, so he'd work extra hard on my hair. I was lying, but I think it did make him more determined to sex my head up.

"oh the elfmanity"

Took me a second to realize this wasn't a Danny Elfman reference...