This here's a recipe for unpleasantness.

Mal ,'Objects In Space'


Buffista Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies  

Where the Buffistas let their fanfic creative juices flow. May contain erotica.


smonster - Sep 25, 2003 4:48:34 am PDT #6824 of 10001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

Good stuff, Nicole.

I noticed a couple of small things, though.

There was no reason to tell everyone that a dream had managed to effect her so much.

This should be 'affect.'

Especially a dream in which she had been encroaching on the new world of lesbianism with a rouge slayer.

As much as Faith loves red lipstick, I think you meant 'rogue' slayer.

Keep it coming!


Nicole - Sep 25, 2003 5:27:11 am PDT #6825 of 10001
I'm getting the pig!

I miss her more than ever, now.
I love scruffy Wes almost as much as Ple but I really miss the bitchyCordy and bumblingWes from Season One Angel.

As much as Faith loves red lipstick, I think you meant 'rogue' slayer.

Ah. Gives a whole different look to my favorite evil overachiever.

This should be 'affect.'
Did you notice I used both spellings in the story? I didn't until just now. I suppose I could say that I was just testing ya'll but I would be lying. *g*
Changing both now on hard copy and the encouragement is much appreciated.
I'm loving this story even more so now that I know where I'm going with it.


P.M. Marc - Sep 25, 2003 6:17:16 am PDT #6826 of 10001
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear

Man, I love your Cordy. She's spot-on.


erikaj - Sep 25, 2003 6:22:43 am PDT #6827 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

Wrod.


deborah grabien - Sep 25, 2003 8:13:18 am PDT #6828 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Nicole, I like where the story and plot are going, and I love the Cordy and Wes.


sj - Sep 25, 2003 9:45:09 am PDT #6829 of 10001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

Nicole, this is a great story. I especially liked:

If you'd rather pretend whatever you find is Cordelia and kill it on your own, be my guest."


JohnSweden - Sep 25, 2003 11:52:19 am PDT #6830 of 10001
I can't even.

"Buffy, wait. What if there are - clues in the details? Important clues," Xander said, hoping for this very special moment to continue.

Spewed beverage at my computer, which is glaring at me and dripping. Perfect Xander moment.


Nicole - Sep 25, 2003 11:53:22 am PDT #6831 of 10001
I'm getting the pig!

I was worried that it had too much dialogue but I couldn't bear to cut any of it out.

I like where the story and plot are going, and I love the Cordy and Wes.
Is the first part a nice way of saying that it's predictable? Too obvious? Because I'm feeling that the last line Angel asks Cordy about dreams was a bit of, "Here's where this is headed and I'm knocking you over the head with it."

Should I just end that part with Cordy's line "Does it effect me?"?


smonster - Sep 25, 2003 12:02:05 pm PDT #6832 of 10001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

Affect. Sorry.

t /pedant


deborah grabien - Sep 25, 2003 12:02:16 pm PDT #6833 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Nicole, nope - not predictable. I do think - don't hit me - that you haven't got Angel's voice down quite right; I couldn't wrap his tongue around a few of his lines.

"Does it effect me?"

Affect. "A" for the action, "E" for the result. Verb and noun. Signed, woman who still occasionally transposes those two things herself.

One thing, and one thing only, that I'd change in Cordy's dialogue: from one designer shoe junkie to another, she wouldn't be demanding her Prada shoe. She'd be demanding her Prada. Same if it was Jimmy Choo heels, or Fluevogs, or Doc Martens: she wouldn't specify the shoe. If she's hopping around in one shoe, or she's barefoot, we're shown what she's after, rather than told in her demand to Phantom!Dennis.