I do think - don't hit me - that you haven't got Angel's voice down quite right; I couldn't wrap his tongue around a few of his lines.
No no no! That's exactly what I want to know. And deborah, you were one of the people that I really wanted feedback from so of course I wouldn't hit you. I decided before posting it that if certain people didn't make a comment on the story - because they either couldn't stand it or had nothing nice to say - that I would discontinue the writing thing. A least until I took classes or looked at a dictionary again.
Huge thanks to everyone that did read it and comment on it. I take no offense at criticism. Even smonster with her Affect obsession. *g*
I was worried that it had too much dialogue
t blink blink
that's possible?
Wrod...was just wondering the same.
Wrod...was just wondering the same.
Well, since I haven't read much buffyfic (or others) I wasn't sure how much back story or description about what the characters looked like I should include, therefore making the dialogue stand out to me.
In regards to Angel's dialogue, I had to re-watch parts of Season One Angel to try to get a feel for him (back when he used to smile and laugh more often even when a baby wasn't in the scene) and it didn't work. For some reason I can't hear what I think he would say in my head.
Any suggestions? (Like that's an easy question.)
Hmmm, I don't have a good handle on him, either. Watch a lot of episodes. Does he remind you of anyone? Go with it if he does.
I think the other characters sound pretty strong - especially since I didn't give Anya much to say. It must just be a thing with Exceptionally Old and Been on the Earth Longer Than Anyone I've Ever Met characters.
Uh huh...that is a problem. My Spike voice is only good for a sentence and a half at a time. Very sad.
My Spike voice is only good for a sentence and a half at a time
Then you make him do something else with his mouth.
But...but...
I can't do that with Angel because he only has Cordelia in that scene with him and Cordy+Angel=Ewwwww! for me.
Hmmm, plagiarizing isn't the end of the world...
Now where is my 'Angel, The Casefiles' book.....
