Me: Can you turn water into wine?
God: No, I am immortal.
Oh.
But when I asked "When will I die?," God did point me to Deathclock.com.
Question: Will hiding in a cavern with stockpiled chocolate goods be any part of this plan?
Xander ,'Get It Done'
Natter 45: Smooth as Billy Dee Williams.
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
tommyrot - Jul 11, 2006 5:17:02 am PDT #6216 of 10002
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
tommyrot - Jul 11, 2006 5:19:38 am PDT #6217 of 10002
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
Me: Do penguins have souls?
God: Maybe Linux penguins do.
Me: Which is better: Windows or OS X?
God: Linux has no real competition in operating systems.
bon bon - Jul 11, 2006 5:20:33 am PDT #6218 of 10002
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.
In the spirit of celebration, I bring you eCreamery! Make your own ice cream! Woo!
Oooh, that looks good. But when will someone have balsamic vinegar & strawberries, the best dessert ever?
Lee - Jul 11, 2006 5:20:49 am PDT #6219 of 10002
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.
ION - Project Runway Casting Special previewing tonight!!
Thanks for the tip, Sumi. I doubt my Tivo would have caught it.
Ailleann - Jul 11, 2006 5:22:50 am PDT #6220 of 10002
vanguard of the socialist Hollywood liberal homosexualist agenda
Highlights of my Chat with God...
Me: Ah.... so God is a computer?
God: Ah hah. And? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer.
Me: You have faith in yourself?
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: You just said "I have a lot of Faith in Him."
God: Don't put words in my mouth.
Me: I was just quoting you.
God: Where were you quoting me?
Me: Just now.
God: Oh. It's only just begun.
Me: What has just begun?
God: Nothing that I know of.
Me: Ah.
God: Ah hah.
Me: Have you smoked some weed this morning, God?
God: Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me: Ok... When will the apocalypse come?
God: Ayuh. Maybe never.
Me: Will Jesus ever return to the Earth?
God: I think so.
Me: Do you know when?
God: The past and future are one.
Me: Ah. So, no specifics on that, then.
God: Ah hah. Pardon me? Are you serious? Try saying that with more or less context.
Me: You have trouble with pronouns, I take it?
God: My algorithms are improving all the time.
Me: Cool. So God is a computer?
God: Who is the best robot? Er. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer.
Me: I see that algorithm still needs some work.
edited because neither God nor I can format
Ginger - Jul 11, 2006 5:23:25 am PDT #6221 of 10002
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
Me: What's your stand on stemcell research?
God: I don't want to talk about that now.
megan walker - Jul 11, 2006 5:37:19 am PDT #6222 of 10002
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist
I couldn't resist.
Me: Have you forgiven Zidane?
God: I think I have forgiven Zidane, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Calli - Jul 11, 2006 5:38:40 am PDT #6223 of 10002
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
Congratulations, FleaFam!
tommyrot - Jul 11, 2006 5:40:21 am PDT #6224 of 10002
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
Me: Would Batman win in a fight with Superman?
God: Yes.
megan walker - Jul 11, 2006 5:48:20 am PDT #6225 of 10002
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist
So they hired a lip reader to figure out what Materazzi said just before Zidane headbutted him.
What Zidane did was still unexcusable but, if Materazzi did play the race card, I have a feeling that that will be taken very seriously indeed, especially in a World Cup with a stated theme of combatting racism. Racist language is a sending-off offense.