Laura is a goddess who has just caused me to smile like mad at the end of one of my most un-smiliest weeks ever, and I adore her.

::revels in out-of-the-blue-total-surprise-package-getting::

It's a mindfuck, counterproductive to his stated intent, crappy (and not at all Scrappy), and CLUELESS!!!!!!!

The only test is whether the religion is a "sincerely held belief." Jen will be happy to know that Atheism is also covered under the religious protection.

Wait - what about me? I sincerely believe that I don't know the cosmic answers and that we should all be groovy toward each other whilst we party on. Am I protected? Is Bill-and-Tedism a recognized religion?

I have just gotten a referral for plastic surgery. The office of said plastic surgeon is, naturally, in one of our richest suburbs. The good thing is that it will most likely be covered by my insurance. (I'm getting a scar removed.) That's been the most exciting thing about my day.

rubs Laura's shoulders

Yes, but -- you read the whole story, right? Flirting with someone after telling her that you're not attracted to her? That's just a mindfuck, and not the kind I like.

I did read the whole story. I don't think he was mindfucking with Machiavellian or evil intent. I think he (a) underestimated how much he hurt you (b) wanted to show that he still likes you (perhaps guiltily, but probably still genuine) (c) wanted to smooth things over in the group dynamic (d) is a bit clueless on how the whole thing played out.

Wait - what about me? I sincerely believe that I don't know the cosmic answers and that we should all be groovy toward each other whilst we party on. Am I protected? Is Bill-and-Tedism a recognized religion?

Agnosticism is also protected.

I have just gotten a referral for plastic surgery. The office of said plastic surgeon is, naturally, in one of our richest suburbs. The good thing is that it will most likely be covered by my insurance. (I'm getting a scar removed.) That's been the most exciting thing about my day.

You movie star! Stay away from cheek implants, though okay? And no collagen in the lips. And I don't like eye-lifts when they're too tight. That's freaky.

I did read the whole story.

In my LJ?

I sincerely believe in Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.

I'm totally a Pastafarian.

He was calling to invite me to submit opinions, or other types of articles for his online news service.

All right! That sounds very flattering (and understandable, considering how well written your letter was).

Stay away from cheek implants, though okay?

Oh good lord, yes. I have never seen one of those that didn't freak me right out.

No you don't. You're insincere, and not only will the FSM pass you by, but the Great Pumpkin as well.

And if you watch ROBOT CHICKEN you know this is a good thing.