Jen, remember, he is as scared as you.
Do you know what else has blood in it? Blood.
Spike ,'Sleeper'
Spike's Bitches 24: I'm Very Seldom Naughty.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Scrappy - May 19, 2005 10:17:08 am PDT #154 of 10001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Calli - May 19, 2005 10:18:38 am PDT #155 of 10001
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
If it's not too complex and technical, how does one do a reverse IP lookup? Or should I take that to the techie thread?
Jen, I'm sorry. I have no real input due to lack of successful relationship experience. I know I've googled every man I've been interested in for the past few years, but I don't know how I'd feel about saying, "Yeah, I knew you were mentioned in the San Juan Tribune because I googled your name for three hours last night."
ChiKat - May 19, 2005 10:18:59 am PDT #156 of 10001
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?
Which is, ironically, I think why he lied about it.
I think so, too, Hec.
§ ita § - May 19, 2005 10:20:10 am PDT #157 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
For all your IP detecting needs. Just use the "Do Stuff" button.
I think googling is in the place where everyone google-familiar is likely to do it, but still not at the place where you talk about it easily.
Jen - May 19, 2005 10:21:11 am PDT #158 of 10001
love's a dream you enter though I shake and shake and shake you
Robin, I don't think he is. He's never been married, he's not immediately post-serious-relationship, and he has said over and over again that he's never had his heart stomped on quite the same way I have. He's not struggling with the reality of having a crappy disease. He's not struggling with having had someone walk out on him because of it.
Betsy HP - May 19, 2005 10:21:49 am PDT #159 of 10001
If I only had a brain...
Jen, I know when I get information about somebody quasi-surreptitiously -- say somebody told me, then said "Oops, forget I said that", I often try to get a legitimate link to the information so I"m off the hook.
Truly, the choice between being Creepy Stalker Googling Guy and Fibbing Guy is a tough one.
DavidS - May 19, 2005 10:22:41 am PDT #160 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
Jen, I think you just need to talk to him very directly about it. Just lay out the facts and let him come clean, and then explain how it pinged you in a negative way. This needs some straightforward communication, and he needs to learn some things about being with you.
Also, he will be impressed/scared by your kickass detective work.
-t - May 19, 2005 10:24:00 am PDT #161 of 10001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
My problem is that he actively engaged in pretense
Maybe not. Maybe he googled you, followed the link to the page but didn't really read it (if you google yourself, is there a lot of stuff? Is it obviously you?), and didn't recognize the URL when you gave it to him.
§ ita § - May 19, 2005 10:24:39 am PDT #162 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
I don't think he is
He may be scared of losing you. That doesn't have to be dependent on his history. He might like you a lot, plain and simple.
Calli - May 19, 2005 10:24:54 am PDT #163 of 10001
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
Thanks, ita!