Jen, he might have been afraid to admit that he Googled for you for fear it would seem too stalker-y.

Yes. This. I probably would have done something similar. Certainly you should mention it, because it upsets you, but it doesn't sound like he was trying to decieve you or anything. Sometimes you neglect to say the pertinent thing in time, and then you just kind of try to save face. Expecially with this type of situation, when it seems pretty harmless to follow through. I doubt it's indicative of untrustworthiness.

It really, really seems like something I might do, and then after the fact, when a bit more sure of my footing in the relationship, go back and "confess" my total dorkiness.

he may have thought that that would have felt like a breach of trust.

Yes, this. I Googled my current BF before our first date (we met online, I was doing due diligence for my own safety frankly). I found out about some legal wrangling he had a few years ago (nothing major. at all.). I've never mentioned it and he's never told me about it. That's okay because what I found out isn't germaine to our relationship.

That being said, if he ever does tell me, I'm going to feign ignorance because of that breach of trust thing.

Aw, TeenagerinLove!Hecubus makes me smile, in a Krakow sort of way.

I thought his apparent Googling of you was cute. If he did suspect he was looking at your site, he may have felt that admitting he'd seen it before you gave him permission was an invasion of privacy. Kind of like never-ever admitting you'd already found and read someone's journal after they hand it over in a show of trust.

connie, SLC was...interesting. I got a Stepford Wives feeling the entire time I was there. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you, but the free time I had budgeted was eaten up by last-minute meetings. I should have stayed an extra day.

The East Central side of SLC is a lot less Stepford than other parts. It's also the oldest part of town, it's had a chance to get comfy with its weird.

Was Monday night's weather typical? I thought the mountains themselves would blow over. Speaking of mountains, what a spectacular panorama. Gorgeous doesn't begin to cover it. One off-site event was held at the Olympic Park in Park City. It was nice to be high enough that my ears popped. Looking at snow-capped peaks in mid-May was a bit disconcerting.

We've been known to get some ginormous wind storms when big weather fronts come through. Spring and fall are the more active weather seasons. We're now seeing the first edge of hot and motionless air. You caught us at a good time, scenic snow wise. It's the most snow we've had in a decade. I imagine the temperature up in Park City was perfect, too, and the air was beautifully clear. I need to get up into the mountains more often than I do.

It really, really seems like something I might do, and then after the fact, when a bit more sure of my footing in the relationship, go back and "confess" my total dorkiness.

Yep, this. Jen, I don't think he's a freaky stalker.

bt, I'm glad you're so happy! That's wonderful.

(From the last thread) vw, sorry I wasn't around to properly sympathize about getting gothed up and ManRay having a live show. I was off getting ready to go out dancing myself.

P-C, temping, while not oodles of fun, is better than nothing.

... what else? Did I miss anything? I skimmed, due to being very very sleepy. I like going out dancing, but OMG do I want clubs in Seattle to become non-smoking. I have done nothing to deserve feeling this headachey and woozy.

There is no way to say "I googled you and know all sorts of things about you" right away, without sounding like a stalker, so I can see why he didn't say anything. After all, what he is covering up is how very much he is interested in you, not a horrible thing! Showing that interest early on would make him seem too eager and he has a lot invested in having you like and desire him. I am sure he has been hurt himself and has trust issues of his own and it's hard to reveal that level of vulnerability.

I like going out dancing, but OMG do I want clubs in Seattle to become non-smoking.

Come dancing here! It's so lovely to be in the pit at First Ave and not have to worry about being burned by a random cigarette....

Anyway, I don't think it's that horrible. I think his motives were that he's totally into you but is afraid of scaring you off with his strong interest.

Yeah, I don't doubt that his motivation was innocent, and I don't think he's creepy!scary!stalker!guy at all. And my problem isn't at all that he Googled me. People Google people. I'm cool with that.

My problem is that he actively engaged in pretense after an enormous number of gut-wrenching, tear-filled conversations during which I explained in great detail how much ex-DH broke my heart and how difficult it is for me to trust people. And he agreed be extra-super-sensitive to things that could appear to be violations of trust.

Kind of like never-ever admitting you'd already found and read someone's journal after they hand it over in a show of trust.

If anyone ever reads my journal (well, not that I keep one) they'd better never admit it. Because they knew up front that it was private. Stuff posted on the web? So very public. There's no way for him to have known beforehand how you felt about it, and once you had told him? I can totally see keeping his mouth shut.

Googling is something I'd totally do, and so is reverse IP lookup -- but then, I can see some people thinking the reverse lookup creepy and obsessive, so there you go -- all sorts of angles here.

And he agreed be extra-super-sensitive to things that could appear to be violations of trust.

Which is, ironically, I think why he lied about it.