So since I saw
Darkness Falls
last night, I watched
Freddy vs. Jason
today. The fun thing about On Demand is I have easy access to all these movies I wouldn't go out of my way to watch.
Now, I actually haven't seen many of the Freddy and Jason movies. Maybe the first
Nightmare on Elm Street,
edited, and the tail end of
Jason Takes Manhattan,
also probably edited. So I missed all the numerous references to the previous films, I'm sure. But whatever, dude. The fun is having both of them in the same movie.
The concept is actually kind of interesting: Freddy can't come back because he's been forgotten, so he resurrects Jason (why Jason? Well...why not?) to do some killin' on his behalf and bring the fear back to the people of Elm Street. There's a "versus" in the title, though, so obviously he has to take him out eventually. It's like that
Simpsons
episode where they bring in the birds to take out the lizards and the monkeys to take out the birds and whatnot.
Coming off a day of reading
No Man's Land,
in whose early pages the similar concept is applied to Batman ("If we don't say his name, he's not real"), I thought there might be something intellectually stimulating about the film, but really, who was I kidding? It's all blood and gore and sex and drugs, dude. You better believe it.
The movie does a bizarre job of making the audience
sympathize
with Jason. Even after we see him slaughter a dozen people. Which, while odd, gives us someone to root for in the Big Fight. I'm not sure that's such a good idea, though. It might have been more fun if we didn't have someone to root for. Is this problem evident in
Alien vs. Predator
?
People to look for:
Dawson's Creek
fame, as the Strong Female Protagonist
- Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child fame, as the Token Black Character (who isn't that bad an actress, really, although she's not called upon to do much)
- Jason Ritter of
Joan of Arcadia
fame, as That Guy Who Wants to Sleep with the Strong Female Protagonist So He'll Brave Death and Destruction
- some guy doing his best Krakow impression
- some guy doing his best Jay (as in, and Silent Bob) impression, delivering the funniest line in the movie: "That goalie was pissed about something."
There's probably more tension than there was in
Darkness Falls,
so that's good, right? Definitely more blood and guts and ridiculosity.
And if you just want to know who wins, the answer is
Jason
. I guess.
The
AvP
billboard near krav with the running vote totals live from the internet went dark yesterday. I guess someone won.
Speaking of AvP, this review is funny.
I was curious how director Garry Marshall would follow up the original story--one that was sweet and tender enough to appeal to the two most important movie-going markets: preteen girls and me--without turning it into a cynical exercise in milking the cash cow. It's not like the first movie was begging for a sequel. Yet, here is one and it has nothing to do with the first, save for the return of Hathaway and Andrews. The title Royal Engagement suggests we'll see romance for the little princess, and maybe she'll blossom right before our eyes.
Instead The Princess Diaries 2, she partakes in bloodsport. This is a horrific, unnecessary sequel about a battle for supremacy between aliens in a long-lost pyramid 2000 feet below Antarctica. Young Hathaway plays an alien from another planet seeking out an enemy comatant, while Julie Andrews plays pretty much the same character she did in The Sound of Music: a screeching, slimy monster imprisoned and forced to procreate in the bowels of a pyramid.
That review is awesome, bon.
I want to see him do
Freddy vs. Jason
as if he thought it were
Superbabies.
It's like that Simpsons episode where they bring in the birds to take out the lizards and the monkeys to take out the birds and whatnot.
This is making me think of "There Mas an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly"
(I don't know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she'll die.)
ION, my Anne Hathaway lust from seing Princess Diaries 2 had me rent
Ella Enchanted.
It was better than PD2, though the fun of it was in the silliness, just like the PD movies. And the only word for Hathaway is effervescent (or luminous, which is what most of the critics on metacritic seemed to use.) SO pretty (Anne, not the movie. The movie is kind of funny-looking due to the fantastic setting on low budget.)And FAR more enjoyable than some movies I might see just for the pretty. I giggled a lot, it was a great Sunday afternoon experience.
The movie was definitely better than
Freddy vs. Jason.
And probably
Alien vs Predator: Royal Engagement
as well, though I haven't seen that in its killing form.
And FAR more enjoyable than some movies I might see just for the pretty.
Is it better than
Tuck Everlasting
? I watched it for Alexis Bledel and fell asleep.
Never watched
Tuck Everlasting.
But I heard it sucked.
Ella
got decent reviews, and had lots of moments of laugh-at-loud Shrek-like self-mockery that made the entire experience really worthwhile. Stone escalators. And a random song-and-dance routine - Anne Hathaway apparently can sing pretty durn well as well. Plus, some interview says she has a hard time getting guys to hit on her.
Hey, P-C, wanna come to L.A. and go hang out in bars looking for a chance to casually hit on her? It'll be fun! You can make her laugh and then I can make her... umm... hmm. Maybe I should go alone.
ETA: though speaking of Alexis Bleidel (and Teen-Girl!NovaChild), very excited about Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
Hey, P-C, wanna come to L.A. and go hang out in bars looking for a chance to casually hit on her? It'll be fun! You can make her laugh and then I can make her... umm... hmm. Maybe I should go alone.
Let's do it, man. I mean, I already have a little practice, as I ran across this girl on the cruise who looked a lot like Anne Hathaway. I can make her laugh, but I'll need you, since I'm the Straight Man. You can be the Guy Who's Not the Straight Man. I forget what he's called.
ETA: though speaking of Alexis Bleidel (and Teen-Girl!NovaChild), very excited about Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
Amber Tamblyn
and
Alexis Bledel? You're gonna freak.
You can be the Guy Who's Not the Straight Man. I forget what he's called.
Hopefully, Guy Who Gets in the Audience's Pants.
