I think msbelle made a good point about us and the board having evolved, and definitely the cultural conversation around these things has changed. I know that my feminist rage is possibly at an all time high, given all the shenanigans this elections has brought out on the right and the left.

Count me among "thought he was creepy and didn't like him but thought everyone else did so Imma be nice." Even down to hanging out with him while he was in NOLA a couple years ago.

I think also that being an anxious person, it's hard for me to trust myself because sometimes I lie. Like I was convinced that my day at work was going to suck and it's been fine. Hindsight and all that.

But once you see the pattern, you can't unsee it. Seeing a bunch of his non-pologies in quick succession, and knowing nothing ever changed, is truly horrifying.

I went back and reread the posts about this issue here, to get more of an "all at once" sense of things. And I'm left feeling angry: angry that several of us were directly hurt by SP's actions, angry that many of us were driven away from the board both by his actions and the fall out, and angry that 10 years of bad-faith community participation on his part have left so many of us second-guessing our own perceptions and decision making.

The internalized misogyny question is really going to haunt me. I thought for a long time that Sunil was manipulative in the social- and professional-climbing sense, but the reason I never spoke up about his behavior was because I was convinced I was just being a bitch to assume that he would use people that way.

We were talking about grooming, yesterday, and I found a great thread on Twitter by one of the people involved explaining what it is: [link] and how it related to Sunil. It's spot on from what I used to see on Facebook all the time, but didn't realize what I was seeing.

I have nothing new to add. You can count on me for a vote in favor of his removal.

Are we starting the vote on the 18th? I'm seeing a couple folks stating votes now, which will make it hard to count.

Trudy, you said exactly what I've been thinking.

Voting will start Wednesday the 19th.

The voting will happen separate and an email will get sent to whoever is counting the votes. So it doesn't matter about counting what is said here.

I can count, but I do not know how to set up a poll.

the reason I never spoke up about his behavior was because I was convinced I was just being a bitch to assume that he would use people that way.

Obviously, I saw the same, Amy, but I didn't say anything either and not because I was being a bitch but more because I figured someone with more clout (in the SFF world, where I'm still a newb) would see it and smack him down. I kept waiting and it didn't happen and in retrospect I think it's because of his habit of a) moving up and b) because he surrounded himself with and courted favor primarily from women. Very rarely did he seek out the approval or company of men. I wonder if it's because subconsciously, he must have known men wouldn't have put up with his shit.

Which makes me all the angrier I didn't say anything. Then again, I was busy trying to navigate my own path in this world.

Crap--there's just no right answer, is there?