top 10?

I have no hope 2026 is going to be any easier than 2025. But, I'm willing to be surprised.. in a good way.

got my cards out before today. personal victory.

And so far, I've gotten cards from dcp, JenP, and Susan W! I have gotten none from my family or distant meat-space friends. So Buffistas rock!

It's been a year! Personally, it wasn't the best of times, nor the worst of times.

On the family front, my eldest son broke up with his girlfriend and moved in with me over the summer. My brother died over the summer, so my son has now moved into his uncle's former home with his cousin. Hopefully, that will all work out. Another year passed without contact from my younger son. One grandson turned 5 this month, and the other turns 3 next month, and they have no idea they have grandparents less than an hour away. DH has been burning the candle at both ends with renovations to his mother's place to accommodate her physical limitations, basketball, work, and life. My business, now 38 years old, hasn't been going well since my "retirement," and I don't see that changing.

The horrific events in our country weigh heavily on all of us. It's difficult to hold on to any hope, and I have taken to relying on the distraction of late-night comics, editorial cartoons, and too much television. It has to get better? The pendulum has to swing this year?

I can't say that the stress in my life is worse than ever because I have lived through worse times. There is one huge difference this year that I am experiencing. In the past 70+ years, I have been the calmest and most patient person you could imagine. I've always felt that things like stress, worry, anger, jealousy, and a bunch of other emotions were unproductive and didn't work for me. I don't know what the trigger was, but the first thing I noticed was that my patience ran out, like one day the container broke, and it all ran out. Gone. So much so that DH teases me about my noticeable lack of patience. And I am feeling stress for the first time, which is a new experience for me. Work stress, family stress, health stress, world stress, all of it. All my life, I lived a Serenity existence, effortlessly choosing to change what I could and accept what I couldn't. It's gone. The strangest part of it all was how rapidly my emotional responses changed. I'm working on it, see above "change what I can", and hoping I don't have to end up accepting this new reality. But for now, serene, calm, and patient Laura is gone.

I sincerely wish all my beloved Buffistas a 2026 that brings all we can hope for and more.

I don't know what the trigger was, but the first thing I noticed was that my patience ran out, like one day the container broke, and it all ran out. Gone. So much so that DH teases me about my noticeable lack of patience.

I was thinking last week about how you used to have a teasing, playful, friendly relationship with your Republican neighbors at your old house and how it's impossible to do that after two rounds of Trump.

And your youngest's decision to cut ties just breaks my heart. It is so cruel and undeserved.

After my marriage to EM ended, I also lost my patience and equanimity. I became snappish. Hurtful things went flying out of my mouth. Reflexive anger.

It was all a measure of how hurt and damaged I was. It is only in the last few years (since we got financially stable) that I've gotten back to a sense of balance.

Having been both richer and poorer, I can vouch that richer has a salubrious effect on your stress levels.

2025 was a better year for me and my family. Which reflects both positive developments, and the obvious fact that 2024 and 2023 were extremely bad years.

Matilda and I went to Japan in 2025, and she stayed there for three months. She came back, and started college, moving onto campus and she's doing so much better. She's still a broken teacup but she is being mended with gold. She and her beau are very lovey dovey and that is a source of joy for both of them.

Emmett's really thriving with his new job in the electrician's union, and very happy with his GF who he's been living with for 6+ years now. They are planning on getting married in a couple years when he "journey's out" (i.e., graduates from Apprentice to Journeyman in the union).

Having both of my kids finding traction in their lives is a huge, gratifying relief and balm.

2026 will be the third calendar year that I don't get to share with Jacqueline. My life with her continues to disappear into the past, and I am alone in our beautiful house.

I'm not depressed, and my grief has been tempered by the hard knowledge that comes with aging. I've lost my mother, my father, my sister (my whole immediate family), my wife, several dear friends.

I have plenty of social opportunities but I'm lonely living alone. (and very happy to have Matilda home on an extended xmas break)

I will turn 65 next June and I'm highly conscious that I'll only have 15 years until I turn 80, which is pretty fucking old (if I make it that far). The Pilates and Ozempic have helped tremendously in getting my body into better maintained shape, but in the last year my body has started breaking down a bit.

Things hurt, my sciatica re-emerged. From roughly 29 to 63 my body has been various shapes and sizes but it was mostly in the realm of Past My Youth. Now something else is happening and joints are worn out. Everything will require more maintenance and effort just to stay moving. More regular doctor appointments and skin cancer checks.

I suppose that all sounds dire, but I don't feel that way. Just a reckoning with age and morality. If anything my losses have sharpened my focus on the world and my friendships and family.

Nothing is given. I'm grateful for all the days I get. I feel calm and attentive to the world, appreciative for every dog I get to pet, every blue sky vista, every time I get to sit down with coffee or cocktails with a beloved.

Having both of my kids finding traction in their lives is a huge, gratifying relief and balm.

That is huge. It is a delight to watch them become such excellent adults.

I suppose that all sounds dire, but I don't feel that way. Just a reckoning with age and morality. If anything my losses have sharpened my focus on the world and my friendships and family.

The mortality thing has been so much a part of my life since I was a small child that I accept it fairly well. The nearly 72 year old joints suck, but I am working on getting the most out of them. Turning my focus to my health and relationships is the goal.

Having both of my kids finding traction in their lives is a huge, gratifying relief and balm.

I've been sitting here thinking about this year a lot. 2024 was a dreadful year for me, so 2025 couldn't help but be better. Despite politics and our evil would-be despot, I had some amazing moments this year. I started it in Edinburgh at the tail-end of our trip last year for Hogmanay, and that trip was epic. The first anniversary of Dad's death passed Jan. 16 — I can't believe this will be the second anniversary — and I started to get to that point of grief where the pain fades into the background to a more contemplative loss. I miss him, but he was on such a downward trajectory that I'm glad he went when he did. He wouldn't have wanted to live the way he was at the end. I used the money I inherited after I sold his condo to pay off a lot of debt, pay vet bills, and to do some traveling, and I know he would have approved of that (though he would have told me to travel less and save more). The big trip was Drew and I taking my mom on the Viking River Cruise to Central Europe and finally exploring Bohemian and Bavarian towns and cities none of us had ever seen before. That was such a special time for the three of us, and I'll cherish it always. Our families have shrunk a lot, as I'm an only child and ND is estranged from his only sister. My mom is the only member of either of our immediate families left, and she just turned 81. It's an odd feeling. On her side, I have only one uncle left, along with my aunt and my only cousin on that side. On Dad's side, I have two aunts left along with their husbands and kids. I still have eight cousins from that family tree, but I almost never see them. Just at funerals, lately. Ugh. Because of all of this, I'm even more grateful for our chosen family — our amazing friend group remains such a comfort and source of great fun and support (and, yes, that includes our Buffista family!).

The second half of last year was mainly work and time with friends. Book and I have been doing rally obedience classes, and that has been a blast — we might even compete in a novice competition this spring! Work has been good, though I'm starting to feel the weight of the years. This is my 29th year teaching, and I have another 14.5 years left before the magic eligible-for-healthcare age of 65 arrives (as a private school teacher, I don't have a pension or insurance benefits after I retire). I love what I do, but that feels like a lot of years left in front of me — 44 years total. I'm grateful for the school breaks, as they are giving me the breathing room to keep doing this important, difficult, fulfilling job.

ND and I are coming up on our 16th wedding anniversary next week, which feels impossible, but we are still very happy together. I'm grateful for him in my life every day.

I'm not saying whether you should stay at your job--everybody has to make that call, but especially with stuff you're not loving, thinking about all the years you might have to do it is way too much.It feels like making a plan, but planning is satisfying, not like torturing yourself. Generally, at times like that, I pull out what I think of as The Omar Answer, so called from when the Wire's favorite homo-thug testified in court and they asked "How do you survive when you steal from drug dealers?" Omar says "A day at a time, I suppose." And, really, citizen or criminal, that's really all we know we have...do it ninety times and you're at spring break already, though. (Sometimes things are bad enough to go hour-by-hour, but I didn't read that, so far--I could be wrong. But you can do almost anything for an hour.)

2025 has been a really difficult one in ways I don't really want to talk about. There's a lot that's going really well on the surface but mentally/emotionally this has been one of the hardest years of my life and I'm not enjoying any of it.

I'm so sorry, Jess. I hope 2026 gets better

Hugs, Jessica.

Sometimes it's, well, I won't say "easier" to have a crisis, because it's a crisis, but things are well-defined and maybe you have an ask for if people want to circle the wagons and stuff. I think I know how that feels, Jess. Even if we're not having the same one.