"Grapes are candy". Opinion or not, I bought lunch at Whole Foods one day: fresh bread still warm from the oven, two slices of cheese, and a small bunch of white grapes. I felt kind of loopy after I finished eating, and when I stood to clear my litter, I was decidedly drunk. I also had white grape juice in lieu of wine once upon a time, and I'd have been more sober drinking the wine.

I put broken walnut halves and craisins in my oatmeal--with a good shake of cinnamon, a tiny pat of butter, and a pinch of brown sugar purely for taste. But I don't often have oatmeal as my dr. disapproves. Two eggs scrambled in a nonstick pan and a slice of multigrain toast is my usual. With black tea.

I do either raisins, dried blueberries, or dried cranberries (or some combo) + slivered almonds + a splash of oat milk + a generous sprinkle of cinnamon + a dash of Splenda on steel cut oats, because I have texture issues with rolled.

Sheryl that sounds really hard. I’m so sorry Mr S has been so rough.

I went back down to the lower dose, because I had kept losing weight (even after I didn’t need to) on the higher dose, but then I gained weight on the low dose and the food noise was back. Booo. So going back to higher for the last two months on this drug. I’m going to miss it so much (but even if I decided I could afford to pay for it, it sounds like it’s impossible to find in pharmacies?)

Sheryl, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how stressful that is for you.

Jesus Christ, if my Dad doesn’t stop calling Tim’s cell phone after getting voicemail on our landline, I am going to lose my entire shit on him. If he actually cared about talking to me, he would call *my* cell phone after getting voicemail on the landline. But he never calls my cell phone after the landline — he always calls Tim next, and then says he’s “worried about me” because the landline went to voicemail. I don’t actually believe that the reason he calls Tim is because he’s “worried”; I think he 100% does it because he thinks that he's snitching to Tim that his little wife isn’t at home where she should be.

He also doesn’t leave a message on the landline’s voicemail, so he clearly doesn't have anything important to say. He just wants to yank on my leash. I am so tired of that old man’s bullshit.

(Spoiler: 90% of the time when Dad calls and I miss the call, I'm either in the basement or the shower, neither of which has a phone extension. Tim knows I don't leave the house voluntarily.) (Although I *am* getting my hair cut and colored with a new stylist in an hour. Pray for my golden tresses!)

Your dad has given you a lot of tiring bullshit, that's for sure. Hope the new stylist is great!

If I were a betting woman, I'd bet 4 Siamese kittens that he'll call the landline while I'm getting my hair cut and absolutely freak out when I don't answer. I would bet 4 additional Maine Coon kittens that he will NOT follow up the landline call by calling my cell (which I wouldn't answer at the salon anyway).

I don't think you will be able to find anyone to give you good odds

Hi darlings! Have skipped and skimmed.

We now want a remake of Bend it like Beckham where the girls are gay and Joe the coach falls for Tony the gay cousin.

Yes please.

Atropa, so sorry your dad is having health mysteries. Glad he is communicating at least. I’m also curious about your supplements, when you have a spoon to spare.

Love all the Shir updates.