I've deleted my previous posts since apparently people don't get that if I call Trump a baby I mean his behavior. I rarely do Twitter so didn't even know about the people there discussing diaperdon as incontinence. Yes, I agree that would be inappropriate, although I hadn't seen it. I don't really think I should be either grouped with these people, or blamed for their behavior. Also, I find all of it inappropriate to the spirit of the thread.

Personally, this is my safe no conflict zone, so I need to take a social media break for a while. I have enough stress in my life and don't need any more. Not stomping off, but really need to take a break.

Separate post:

My year started off with being told to STFU by various elements of the Intelligence Community because I was looking at proxy data that indicated the covid situation in China was MUCH WORSE than they were reporting. Other elements picked it up and did the right thing, but still.

I went to Houston to run a weeklong workshop with innovators at Johnson Space Center to help with Orion, Gateway, and Artemis. It was amazing and a Life Moment. I am normally draconian about 100% attendance because we cram so much stuff in, but "I have to miss Weds morning because I have to be in Mission Control for the first all-female spacewalk" will, in fact, get a pass from me. I hadn't planned to do anything except the workshop, but the awesome NASA people gave me tours of the full-size practice vehicles (including the ISS) and Mission Control.

My son's school shut down and went to online-only. He'd been self-sabotaging (not turning in work) so he had 2 Fs locked in. This meant no chance for college.

Then the USG agency I worked at bucked the administration and sent everyone home. I was the second-to-last person out of my building doing the "elegant shutdown;" the person who left before me wrote CROATOAN on the whiteboard on his way out.

The problem was that my contract didn't allow me to bill from anywhere but that location, so I was suddenly unemployed.

On the good side, my husband still has his pension and we have savings and were able to massively restrict our spending. On the bad side, we would not be able to afford to stay in our house or Northern VA. On the good side, we spent a month working out and working on the house to get it ready to sell. On the bad side, no one was going to buy. On the good side, I no longer worked for the organization that had a policy of cyber-stalking all my online activity (this is why I changed my user name here, then left). Another good was that I was offered a job to work with Congress on climate change. On the bad side it required me to treat Trump as a legitimate American leader. On the good side, I got a job offer a month later. On the bad side it was from the organization that had told me to STFU earlier in the year.

And it was to work with a truly toxic Mean Girl. I decided I could manage her, but I asked for an additional $30K (I have a salary/bullshit index I use for work). They actually agreed.

That job sucked. I gained 20 lbs and lost control of my depression and my blood pressure. Toxic Woman kept sabotaging everything. All my best friends save one had left to go to other jobs. Other friends were being fired or having to resign from high positions in the administration. However, the community I'd been working to build was doing great things, and our diversity and inclusion was getting really good, including blind and deaf people. For instance, a translation technology we've been working on for years to translate ASL to English text and speech and vice versa became a working prototype.

But then I tried to get my new office's HR team to look at why innovators, employees with ability mismatches, and LGBTQ+ employees were leaving in higher ratios than others. And they fired me.

All throughout this year, my son worked hard to overcome his grades and has had success. The school erased the grades from last spring so the Fs went away...but online school has been so bad psychologically and pedagogically that he probably doesn't have a chance of college even with perfect completion of homework and a full plate of AP and Honors. Whenever I think about it I get furious that my son's future is being destroyed because some adults won't follow science and safety and others think their wealth at age 80 is more important.

Our financial work during my first unemployment this year was sufficient so that this one wasn't a big problem, other than I'm righteously indignant, so that's a good.

My sister's cancer, which was Stage 4 lung cancer (one tumor was the size of a softball) when detected, is fully gone (yay immunotherapy), but she lives in NM, which is the poster child for rampaging covid right now.

Biden/Harris won but McConnell still runs DC.

In short, mixed bag.

I will be taking a break from here as well. This is also my safe space, but I do not currently feel safe here. If I cannot bring up something that genuinely hurts me, than this is not the place for me at the moment. I have enough stress at the moment as well.

I do apologize that this has taken up so much space in this particular thread.

Also, I find all of it inappropriate to the spirit of the thread.

I'm hitting this first, because I completely agree with you on this, but I want to respond and don't want to burden another thread with it. There is no place else to put it.

I rarely do Twitter so didn't even know about the people there discussing diaperdon as incontinence. Yes, I agree that would be inappropriate, although I hadn't seen it. I don't really think I should be either grouped with these people, or blamed for their behavior.

Not one of us grouped you or Katerina Bee with those people. I hope you go back at look at how polite and gentle everyone tried to be with you. I feel you've lost sight of that in the heat of the moment, but it's all there.

I provided "Diaper Don" context to you because I figured there was no way in hell either of you could have been familiar with it and still have proceeded to either bring it here (KB), or joke-away sj's objection to it being brought here (Laura).

To be blunt, I was giving you a second bite at the apology apple, because I thought you both got flustered and botched the first one. KB turned the first bite into, "Consider me schooled," and you turned into something that ended along the lines of: "I am a person with feelings too."

I know you are hurt, and I am sorry you are hurt.

I am disappointed, because this conversation feels like sj said, "Hey, you're stepping on my foot," and your response was, "I'm upset you told me I'm stepping on your foot."

I will let sj speak for herself if she so chooses, but I want you to think about the sj you have known here for 15 years (or more?). Like you, she does not get involved in this stuff.

Personally, this is my safe no conflict zone, so I need to take a social media break for a while. I have enough stress in my life and don't need any more. Not stomping off, but really need to take a break.

I think this is everyone's safe space. You're about the kindest, least confrontational Buffista we have, Laura. It's just that sj is, too. It must have taken a lot for her to speak up. I feel her no-conflict zone was violated, when her objections were brushed aside instead of listened to.

And I should have refreshed before posting. sj, I see your post. I am sorry you feel that way.

the person who left before me wrote CROATOAN on the whiteboard on his way out.

I fucking love this.

the person who left before me wrote CROATOAN on the whiteboard on his way out.

You have given me an idea.

For me, 2020 was the year that might have been. I dipped my toe into the dating pool in late 2019 after the property settlement was signed. The divorce became final at the end of January. (I found out via text from my lawyer. At the time, I was sitting on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.) So I was ready to start building a life again.

And then the lockdown hit. I've been more or less a hermit since the middle of March, at least as far as in-person interaction goes. I'm strongly introverted, so it wasn't the worst thing in the world for me -- but I'm feeling more and more alone in the world.

The CIDP is under control, more or less. The infusions have helped to repair some of the nerve damage. Even without the braces, I can stand still -- when I was diagnosed, I couldn't. I also don't use the cane for short distances, which is most of the time. But I still have nerve damage in my feet, and it's doubtful whether I'll ever be able to run again. And whether it's the CIDP or the lack of moving around, I tire very quickly when I try to walk anywhere.

Finally, I'm not sure whether this last belongs in 2020 or 2021, but I'm retiring after 32 years of working for the federal government. My last day is December 31. So I'll have to go in to the office for at least one day to clean out my office.

It seems some have missed the important memo regarding impact > intent. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean to hurt someone with your words. The fact is that you did. The proper response is, “I’m so sorry I hurt you. Thank you for letting me know why my words were hurtful so that I won’t continue to cause harm, however unintentionally. I know it wasn’t easy to speak up and I appreciate you taking the time.” I’m really surprised and sad this wasn’t the first response, honestly. We all have a lot to learn and we all make mistakes. We show who we truly are by how we handle those mistakes. I’m sorry, sj, and I hope it was okay for me to speak up.

I was pointed here years back to watch and learn and I love it: [link]

One more thing for future reference: deleting posts in a crucial conversation like this one defeats the work put in by folks to educate. The conversation should be preserved to continue the education. I’ve stepped in it many times and fully expect that I will again. I’m grateful for folks in the affected communities who are willing to educate me.

Oh good. More input about my bad behavior. This has gone on for days. It’s too much. Public humiliation is the worst thing that can happen to me, so consider my ass well kicked.

I’ll be leaving now.