My family is where mental illness and guns meet, so I agree with your brand of vigilantism, Steph.

I know it's also a lot but could you or your brother check with your Dad's doctor. At least to let him know the hallucinations have started again. I don't know if there is anything he could do but he probably needs to know this in case it's not medicine causing them.

What I've heard on this is: your father's doctor can't tell you anything, but it can be good for you to tell them stuff. Which makes sense.

I can message his various doctors through MyChart; I've done it in the past. The first thing I want to do is have an in-person conversation with Dad about whether he's started taking his leftover Ambien again, how much pot he's smoking, and if he's using any other illegal/illegally obtained meds. Because I want the full, unvarnished picture so I can give as much of the correct information to his doctor(s) as possible. So once I've had that conversation, I can email his doctor(s).

I've been skirting the edges of a panic attack all evening, so I took an Ativan, and now I'm very sleepy and calm. But it's going to be one hell of a weekend.

It's a good thing to have your brother and Tim to help you navigate this. All kinds of calm resolution~ma will be heading your way through the weekend. Big appreciation for the friend who reached out to your family with the info. Pretty unlikely your dad would have shared his situation.

DH has torn apart my bathroom, like ripping up floorboards, removing everything. This weekend he and my nephew are going to be taking the tub out. It will be wonderful when it is done. Amused that the bathroom will be the only finished room in the entire camp, but he asked my priority.

Hugs, Steph. Here's hoping it goes smoothly.

Woke up into a total panic attack, and now I'm just paralyzed with panic/fear/distress.

{{{Tep}}} Keep breathing, that's enough for now

I'm sorry, Steph.

A bit of good news, sort of. That asshole has stepped down as the new Jeopardy host. They're going back to guest hosts for a while.

Oh that’s great Dana!!

Other good news: it’s Friday. Even if that means I still have to get through one more day of work.

I have a lot of work for my job, and my brother is flying in late tomorrow night and he's going to crash on our couch so I need to clean the house, and we have to deal with my Dad and his guns, which is terrifying, and we're going camping next weekend and I'm trying to plan that but I can't, and Tim is still asleep because he works nights like he has been for the past year+, and not having him home in the evenings for more than a year has been so lonely, and I just really feel like I'm going to pass out.

Yikes Steph! Is the camping something you can postpone until a better time, or just cancel? This situation with your dad clearly needs to be top priority, at least until he's no longer armed AND having hallucinations.