Hugs, Steph. Here's hoping it goes smoothly.

Woke up into a total panic attack, and now I'm just paralyzed with panic/fear/distress.

{{{Tep}}} Keep breathing, that's enough for now

I'm sorry, Steph.

A bit of good news, sort of. That asshole has stepped down as the new Jeopardy host. They're going back to guest hosts for a while.

Oh that’s great Dana!!

Other good news: it’s Friday. Even if that means I still have to get through one more day of work.

I have a lot of work for my job, and my brother is flying in late tomorrow night and he's going to crash on our couch so I need to clean the house, and we have to deal with my Dad and his guns, which is terrifying, and we're going camping next weekend and I'm trying to plan that but I can't, and Tim is still asleep because he works nights like he has been for the past year+, and not having him home in the evenings for more than a year has been so lonely, and I just really feel like I'm going to pass out.

Yikes Steph! Is the camping something you can postpone until a better time, or just cancel? This situation with your dad clearly needs to be top priority, at least until he's no longer armed AND having hallucinations.

That is a lot and I can understand how it could feel very overwhelming. You do not have to deal with it all this very minute. You can take a little time to just feel how terrible it is and not doing anything about it. That is allowed.

I'm sorry, it really is a lot. I wish I could come sweep a floor or something for you. I am pretty sure your brother won't are if your house isn't clean, by the way.

Teppy, this is terrifying and heartbreaking and I'm so sorry.

This should not be happening, you do not deserve it, and overwhelming anxiety is a pretty reasonable response.

I think, perhaps, Mr. Rogers is a sound source of wisdom on this - when you're overwhelmed with the scary things in the world look for the helpers... There are always people trying to help... Wally is a stand-up guy and I would personally like to send him flowers. Your brother is healthy and strong, even has appropriate training, and is coming as fast as he can. Your husband loves you and supports you and is proceeding with warranted caution. You've got an in-law with gun safe ready and waiting. You've got ativan.

If cleaning the house is good busy-work that will keep you occupied have at it. If its another stress just throw out anything food, wipe down the bathroom, and do the dishes - dust? papers? laundry? FUGEDABOUDIT.

You've got good people and a good plan and soon this will be past.

My house is really a gross mess, though. I can't do any of this. I can't.