It was wonderful to see Laura and Brendan. A little oasis of joy during a difficult few days.
My dad's cognition is getting a little worse every time I see him. He's getting confused about his pill organizer and not taking his meds correctly, and today he was asking me questions about people I last saw when I was four. It's not every day; today is particularly bad. He's furious at the suggestion he might need to move into assisted living and refuses to consider it, but all we can afford in home right now is three days of six hours of care, and that isn't going to cut it. We are meeting with a Medicaid attorney tomorrow to see if there's any other in-home care he qualifies for before we go through his entire life savings, but I'm feeling pretty grim. He won't consider moving closer to me (and would be miserable in SoCal, so fair enough), but we have such house debt that I can't just take a leave from my school to live with him; without my salary, we can't pay our bills...not to mention not wanting to leave Drew and the pets and my life in SoCal if I don't have to. Sigh. I'm hoping the attorney tomorrow will give me some options that won't involve me having to get into a massive fight with Dad about moving. I want him to be able to stay here; I really do. But dementia is insidious and always worse than you think it is, and Dad can't see how bad it is. It's so hard.
We finally got a referral to a great neurologist, at least, so once I can schedule that, I will fly back to be here for that consultation and see where we are.
Blah, not looking for solutions, but I can't post on this on social media, and I need a place to brain dump sometimes.
I'm sorry, Pix. I will just say that people with dementia might not know what the best thing for themselves is and sometimes short-term conflict can result in a long-term good solution. Good luck.
Thanks, Jesse. I know, and once I have the data and support from the neurologist to support that argument, he might be more able to hear that. And if he can't hear it, I will at least have an expert confirming it's needed.
Pix, I'm sorry for you and your dad. We're in a similar situation with Tim's dad, in terms of his cognitive function and not wanting to be in assisted living. It's hard, and there are no easy answers, but you're not alone.
It is hard, yes. Love to you all as you deal with this.
It's so hard. So much sympathy to everyone dealing with this.
Hugs to you, Pix. It's such a rough thing to have to deal with.
I'm sorry, Pix. What a difficult time. The best gift my parents gave my sisters and I is choosing and arranging their own living situation so that we didn't have to make those decisions. They are now in their late 80s, and still in a house in the retirement community but assisted living and nursing and dementia care is part of the deal if they need it.
We get students on Tuesday - my U isn't requiring vaccinations of students, faculty or staff. They are only requiring masks, because the city requires them now that it has significant numbers of new cases. WFH is not allowed, and they took away the 10 extra days of leave meant for people to quarantine in case of a COVID exposure/symptoms. This should be fine, right? I mean, the Dean insisting that all our faculty/committee meetings be held in person because we need to "get back to normal" and "get used to accepting some risk" is a mark of a great leader?
