I have a evaluation of needs appointment for therapy this morning on Zoom because my new doctor did not respond to my telling her I’m struggling with “find yourself a therapist” instead she had the therapist call me.

I’m sorry, Theo. It’s so hard.

I just finished the virtual assessment appointment, and I cried a lot. They want me to try to attend a group meeting on Tuesday mornings, and I should hear back about recommendations for a therapist and Psychiatrist within a week.

I'm glad you got the assessment, and I hope you get recommendations that work for you. By "group" they still mean virtual, right?

I just finished the virtual assessment appointment, and I cried a lot.

Ugh, I've been there. Sympathies.

Last night, I dreamed I had covid. Or, I dreamed that I lost my sense of taste and smell, so obviously I had it, and then my aunt the doctor (a real person) tested me, and I got a manila envelope with paperwork in it that told me in big letters that I had this other thing that wasn't covid even though the symptoms matched.

Sort of a weird anxiety dream with a happy ending.

Yes, all the services will be virtual for now. But I’ve always avoided group therapy in the past. I also made it known that I would prefer a therapist who is open to continuing therapy via zoom even after the pandemic is under control. It is just easier for me.

Yikes, Dana that dream sounds off.

My great-step-uncle with Covid was doing well, but I guess he had taken a turn for the worse today.

Got it. I've never done group therapy either.

I'm glad you had dream negative test results... or, negative Covid-19 anyway. Brains are weird. Sleeping brains are a whole other level of magnitude weird.

I ordered an artificial tree, since I'm not glomming on to family members for Christmas festivities this year. It is... smaller than I envisioned. I mean, I saw the height when I ordered it, but I should have gone bigger (I ordered 4.5'; I should've gotten at least 6'). I just didn't want to overwhelm the apartment. Or myself. Anyway, it's sitting on an Ikea Lack side table with a tree, uh, drape, I guess that goes to the ground, so it's cute. Definitely not overwhelming in any sense! Hey. live and learn. Now to find some ornaments. I have a few, but not enough for even just Christmas Tree Jr. over there.

Last night, I dreamed I had covid.

Last night I dreamed we had fleas, so...here's hoping we're both wrong. (We don't have fleas.)

sj I'm sorry about your uncle, and wishing ma for him and theo's residents and everyone.

Drew, it's obvious we're so far past what an already stunted X-mas season can help. I really, really hope there's genuine relief in the offing soon. Both small business and impacted employees need a solid plan, not a "best of luck" handwave. It's so terrible and I feel awful for everybody.

In happier news, I wrote and enveloped two holiday cards last night! Coming off a 48-hour work bender too, so hopefully whatever I wrote is coherent.

Yesterday after yoga my classmates were going on about how wonderful they were finding doing their practice at home, and could we keep this up when the pandemic was over?

I did not howl down the channel, but it was a near thing. I do not want to do yoga alone in my living room for the rest of my life! My therapist sent me to this studio as part of my social anxiety management: "Here is an hour a day out of your house where social interaction is fairly controlled."

With my people, I am very touchy. I miss inadvertently holding hands with my friend Nicole when the studio's crowded and we're doing twists on the floor, I miss walking arm-in-arm with my honorary Norwegian mom as I see her to her car, I miss Helen adjusting my stance while muttering "Your hip's playing up again, stop pushing". It hurts to be reminded of what I've given up, and hearing everyone on the call saying "Isn't it terrific?" No, it's a stopgap until we can be together again.