I’m wearing a dress today in honor of Jacqueline, even though the only place I’m going today is the school drop off line.

I used to be No-Shift Insomniac Erin, and I'd be here any old time, but now I am officially An Early Riser But Still Not A Morning Person Who Thinks She's Still A Night Owl But Is Really An Early Evening Pigeon.

I'll share pictures but just on the Buffistas group because my MiL must never see people laughing.

Christ, I can't imagine dealing with death without laughter. When Dad died, my sister and I were relieved and devastated -- and we cracked some truly black-humor jokes in the days right after. We also told the funniest stories we could think of ofmy dad -- and there were a lot. My dad was a funny dude with a sly, wicked sense of humor, and we knew that every awful joke we cracked, he would have snickering and adding a little fillip to the bit.

We cried and laughed, and yes, when my laptop fell and cracked when I was writing his obit, I fucking LOST MY SHIT in a grief-rage fugue in the basement. Like a tired toddler who knew every profane word had a berserker fit.

All the emotions are valid, but jfc, it's all so EXHAUSTING.

I truly hope alla y'all are sleeping.

So I can't help but imagine her now with whichever equivalent to Jesus or Buddha greeting her with a martini (that was her drink of choice, right?), telling her "Hey, you were so much more than just a pretty decent person anyway, you were absolutely great! Go you!".

That sounds just exactly right, Nilly.

Christ, I can't imagine dealing with death without laughter.

I feel this for sure, and of course I'm also feeling so much sympathy for JZ's mom. The thought of losing a child is like opening up a vast black abyss in my mind, a void I can't even really contemplate directly. I hope she has people who are further removed from this particular grief who can step up and love her through this.

"Hey, you were so much more than just a pretty decent person anyway, you were absolutely great! Go you!".

I love this.

For Matilda and Sunny, it is so hard. I'm sorry. Losing parents or children are different types of grief, as is losing your partner. David, I'm sorry you have to hold it together so much, but sometimes having to be there for others is the only thing that keeps you together. The best advice I received was from my sister who told me to cry in the shower. Efficient that is.

In my youth I went to countless Irish wakes, usually at home, with the deceased present in the living room. My childhood memories were of a lot of very tipsy relatives and friends laughing and crying, and often both at the same time. The balance of ululation and laughter always seemed normal to me.

With both of my parents and my husband, I just left after they passed. To me, their presence was gone. It got me in trouble with my in-laws because when they arrived at the hospital I was already gone. Stephen was in the hospital 25 weeks over a year and a half and I stayed with him every night so he wouldn't be alone. I had to work during the day. For me, when he was gone there was no reason for me to be there. My grief didn't hit like the tsunami it was until weeks later when I wasn't so busy dealing with people and practical shit. Also, grief sucks, and never goes away.

Just sending all the love I have to David, and all those who are brokenhearted from the loss of Jacqueline.

I hope she has people who are further removed from this particular grief who can step up and love her through this.

She's moved to Portland to be near Jacqueline's brother, Chris, and his family (with two kids). And her other son, Lukas and his husband, TJ, have also moved to Portland. So she's not isolated in Reno as she was before.

The best advice I received was from my sister who told me to cry in the shower.

Matilda knows this trick and was using it yesterday.

She told me she's going back to school next Wednesday. Monday is labor day, and Tuesday is her therapy day. Then she will be ready to face humans again.

So she's not isolated in Reno as she was before.

That is good to hear.

She told me she's going back to school next Wednesday.

Oh boy, I know it is going to be tough with so many expressing their sympathy. I hope she is able to take breaks to cry and rest between all the peopling .

JZ's bestie Lisa came in and the mood shifted, and the Sacred Circle of Loving Women started drinking and crying and laughing and wearing Jacqueline's hats and...it's what we needed. It's what Matilda needed especially.

Oh, I'm so glad this happened!

can see Greece from our balcony on a clear day. I hope today is the clearest ever. Regardless, I’ll be getting flowers later and letting them go in the sea so that a memory of Jacqueline reaches the shores of the beloved country that she couldn’t visit as often as she wanted.

That's so lovely, Maria.

Off topic, but thinking about how long David and JZ were together before they were married made me wonder exactly how old we are, as a community. Maybe it would be easier to note the birth of this incarnation of the board?