So I can't help but imagine her now with whichever equivalent to Jesus or Buddha greeting her with a martini (that was her drink of choice, right?), telling her "Hey, you were so much more than just a pretty decent person anyway, you were absolutely great! Go you!".

That sounds just exactly right, Nilly.

Christ, I can't imagine dealing with death without laughter.

I feel this for sure, and of course I'm also feeling so much sympathy for JZ's mom. The thought of losing a child is like opening up a vast black abyss in my mind, a void I can't even really contemplate directly. I hope she has people who are further removed from this particular grief who can step up and love her through this.

"Hey, you were so much more than just a pretty decent person anyway, you were absolutely great! Go you!".

I love this.

For Matilda and Sunny, it is so hard. I'm sorry. Losing parents or children are different types of grief, as is losing your partner. David, I'm sorry you have to hold it together so much, but sometimes having to be there for others is the only thing that keeps you together. The best advice I received was from my sister who told me to cry in the shower. Efficient that is.

In my youth I went to countless Irish wakes, usually at home, with the deceased present in the living room. My childhood memories were of a lot of very tipsy relatives and friends laughing and crying, and often both at the same time. The balance of ululation and laughter always seemed normal to me.

With both of my parents and my husband, I just left after they passed. To me, their presence was gone. It got me in trouble with my in-laws because when they arrived at the hospital I was already gone. Stephen was in the hospital 25 weeks over a year and a half and I stayed with him every night so he wouldn't be alone. I had to work during the day. For me, when he was gone there was no reason for me to be there. My grief didn't hit like the tsunami it was until weeks later when I wasn't so busy dealing with people and practical shit. Also, grief sucks, and never goes away.

Just sending all the love I have to David, and all those who are brokenhearted from the loss of Jacqueline.

I hope she has people who are further removed from this particular grief who can step up and love her through this.

She's moved to Portland to be near Jacqueline's brother, Chris, and his family (with two kids). And her other son, Lukas and his husband, TJ, have also moved to Portland. So she's not isolated in Reno as she was before.

The best advice I received was from my sister who told me to cry in the shower.

Matilda knows this trick and was using it yesterday.

She told me she's going back to school next Wednesday. Monday is labor day, and Tuesday is her therapy day. Then she will be ready to face humans again.

So she's not isolated in Reno as she was before.

That is good to hear.

She told me she's going back to school next Wednesday.

Oh boy, I know it is going to be tough with so many expressing their sympathy. I hope she is able to take breaks to cry and rest between all the peopling .

JZ's bestie Lisa came in and the mood shifted, and the Sacred Circle of Loving Women started drinking and crying and laughing and wearing Jacqueline's hats and...it's what we needed. It's what Matilda needed especially.

Oh, I'm so glad this happened!

can see Greece from our balcony on a clear day. I hope today is the clearest ever. Regardless, I’ll be getting flowers later and letting them go in the sea so that a memory of Jacqueline reaches the shores of the beloved country that she couldn’t visit as often as she wanted.

That's so lovely, Maria.

Off topic, but thinking about how long David and JZ were together before they were married made me wonder exactly how old we are, as a community. Maybe it would be easier to note the birth of this incarnation of the board?

I hope that’s the way it is, Nilly.

I’m so glad JZ has that Sacred Circle of Loving Women to be there for her girl now and for you, David. And I’m so sorry to hear about your sister.

JZ's bestie Lisa came in and the mood shifted, and the Sacred Circle of Loving Women started drinking and crying and laughing and wearing Jacqueline's hats and...it's what we needed. It's what Matilda needed especially.

Very thankful that they were present to release that emotional pressure valve.

Christ, I can’t imagine dealing with death without laughter.

One of the joys of the days immediately after Dad passed away was telling his younger brother tales he hadn’t heard of the older siblings’ childhood shenanigans. Bricks and snakes were thrown, cats were rubbed with liniment, switch trees were chopped down and burned while their parents were gone for the day...