I had an immediate sense memory of being “morning shift” every day and that Nilly and Shir were “night shift”.

When I was doing my MA and PhD, so long ago that it seems like I had to draw my dissertaion graphs on the walls of the caves we cavepeople lived in back then, and Smartphones were not invented yet, and I only had internet access at my university's computer and not at home.

So in my morning, when I got to my university computer, I got to say "Timelies" to the night shift of the West Coast. And then I used to threadsuck and play catch-up (um, or skim. Or skip and skim. Sometime even skip altogether, but still) whenever I had to wait for a simulation to compile or get its results or the like, I could sneak a couple of minutes on the board.

And by the time it was early afternoon in my timezone, I got to say "Timeles" to the East Coast morning shift.

Oh, and at times, people who could not sleep would pop on the board, and I was always grateful that my timezone could make them realize that they're not awake alone and not everybody else is sleeping.

And it made me happy, too, the memory of that time, and what a beautiful community we built.

Yes, so much this.

[Edit: Shir, I can't remember when we posted together!]

Shir, I can't remember when we posted together!

Me neither! Thanks, long COVID!

But yes, I remember the "who's with insomnia today?" game. And understanding that it is way too late for me to be awake if West Coast folks are starting to post on what they had for lunch.

Hi morning and night shift peeps! For me, too, it was before the smart phone. I would get to work early to log on and see the tail end of Nilly and Shir and start the morning. If my day was busy, sometimes I would PRINT the board to read at my second job!

While I love that the phone means I am connected to you always, I don’t post as much and I am not connected back channel as much, so I read and think connecty thoughts.

Good morning, morning shift. Hello, Nilly and Shir and Maria. It does feel a bit like old times, to have folks from non-US time zones chatting away.

I couldn’t say this last night, because Matilda got me directly in some very tender feels, but it was also a very difficult moment for me when they took my mom. I didn’t scream but I sure wanted to.

I took the day off today. Bless my amazing bosses. They knew this was coming and are totally supportive.

It’s really lovely to hear about the laughing and the hats. I was thinking last night of things I can incorporate into my life to pay tribute to JZ, and I remembered that I have hats, including two cloches.

I really forgot how amazing and smart and loving we are. This board, these people, are special.

ETA autocorrect does NOT like Buffista names. Rude.

I used to always be night shift, but parenthood means I’m checking in for the morning shift.

David, I’m glad that you were able to have some smiles along with all the tears last night. Please take care of yourself too.

I’m wearing a dress today in honor of Jacqueline, even though the only place I’m going today is the school drop off line.

I used to be No-Shift Insomniac Erin, and I'd be here any old time, but now I am officially An Early Riser But Still Not A Morning Person Who Thinks She's Still A Night Owl But Is Really An Early Evening Pigeon.

I'll share pictures but just on the Buffistas group because my MiL must never see people laughing.

Christ, I can't imagine dealing with death without laughter. When Dad died, my sister and I were relieved and devastated -- and we cracked some truly black-humor jokes in the days right after. We also told the funniest stories we could think of ofmy dad -- and there were a lot. My dad was a funny dude with a sly, wicked sense of humor, and we knew that every awful joke we cracked, he would have snickering and adding a little fillip to the bit.

We cried and laughed, and yes, when my laptop fell and cracked when I was writing his obit, I fucking LOST MY SHIT in a grief-rage fugue in the basement. Like a tired toddler who knew every profane word had a berserker fit.

All the emotions are valid, but jfc, it's all so EXHAUSTING.

I truly hope alla y'all are sleeping.

So I can't help but imagine her now with whichever equivalent to Jesus or Buddha greeting her with a martini (that was her drink of choice, right?), telling her "Hey, you were so much more than just a pretty decent person anyway, you were absolutely great! Go you!".

That sounds just exactly right, Nilly.

Christ, I can't imagine dealing with death without laughter.

I feel this for sure, and of course I'm also feeling so much sympathy for JZ's mom. The thought of losing a child is like opening up a vast black abyss in my mind, a void I can't even really contemplate directly. I hope she has people who are further removed from this particular grief who can step up and love her through this.

"Hey, you were so much more than just a pretty decent person anyway, you were absolutely great! Go you!".

I love this.

For Matilda and Sunny, it is so hard. I'm sorry. Losing parents or children are different types of grief, as is losing your partner. David, I'm sorry you have to hold it together so much, but sometimes having to be there for others is the only thing that keeps you together. The best advice I received was from my sister who told me to cry in the shower. Efficient that is.

In my youth I went to countless Irish wakes, usually at home, with the deceased present in the living room. My childhood memories were of a lot of very tipsy relatives and friends laughing and crying, and often both at the same time. The balance of ululation and laughter always seemed normal to me.

With both of my parents and my husband, I just left after they passed. To me, their presence was gone. It got me in trouble with my in-laws because when they arrived at the hospital I was already gone. Stephen was in the hospital 25 weeks over a year and a half and I stayed with him every night so he wouldn't be alone. I had to work during the day. For me, when he was gone there was no reason for me to be there. My grief didn't hit like the tsunami it was until weeks later when I wasn't so busy dealing with people and practical shit. Also, grief sucks, and never goes away.

Just sending all the love I have to David, and all those who are brokenhearted from the loss of Jacqueline.