It's okay not to be okay all the time, sj. Keep taking care of yourself.

I can imagine hearing Barracuda al the time and not knowing what it is - they mostly just play that guitar riff, don't they? Doesn't sound at all like Santana, though.

TCG came home and fed me lunch and I’m going to get Chinese food with Thessaly tomorrow. So, other people are taking care of me too. ltc came running out of her room last night with a stuffed animal for me to hold when she heard me crying. I thought she was asleep and then felt guilty that she felt she had to comfort me.

I thought she was asleep and then felt guilty that she felt she had to comfort me.

Children are allowed to support their parents. Parents are allowed to cry.

Both of my parents cried in my arms when their fathers died.

Intellectually I know that but emotionally I know she’s dealing with so much of her own grief and I want her to feel that everything here is safe and stable for her.

I'm so sorry for your loss, sj, and I'm glad you and your people, including your amazing and empathetic child, are taking care of you... and each other.

Epic, sending you all the marshalling of reserves, troops, health, fortitude, etc. vibes that there are.

Intellectually I know that but emotionally I know she’s dealing with so much of her own grief and I want her to feel that everything here is safe and stable for her.

I think it feels safe for her. And seeing your grief validates hers, and shows how much you loved him as well.

There's a difference between a child constantly being put in the role of emotional support, and a significant event like this with a shared grief.

So, other people are taking care of me too.

Good!

ltc came running out of her room last night with a stuffed animal for me to hold when she heard me crying.

It probably makes her feel better to be able to comfort you. It works that way for me a lot of the time, I know.

My company is apparently celebrating "star wars day" now. I'm not sure how I feel about that. We do get cake pops, so that's good. There's trivia later and for some reason I don't expect that to go well. Maybe I'm wrong.

My dad called the police in the middle of the night because he said his hallucination people (remember them?) were stealing $80,000 from him. The police convinced him to go to the hospital, and most of the standard tests they ran were normal, except he has a UTI (which can make elderly people hallucinate) and pretty bad anemia. The hospital has, obviously, scheduled a consultation with a psychiatrist. No idea how long he'll be in the hospital, or if they might transfer him to a mental health unit/hospital.

I'm aware this is going to sound terrible, but: we're leaving for vacation on Sunday, and I'm not changing my plans to stay home. There is literally nothing I can do to help him. He's in a hospital, which is where he needs to be.

I'm also aware it's probably pretty unhealthy, but I'm drinking a beer right now, because I literally cannot think of any other way to cope with this shit.

My company is apparently celebrating "star wars day" now. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

It's also Dave Brubeck Day. Because, 5/4 time.